siblings

for some reason this is not centred. These are pictures from the
6 years or so... 

I love my siblings! They're the best.

I can't be thankful enough for each one of them. They, every single

one, have had a huge impact in my  life and I am so blessed.

We've been far away from one another in the last years, one brother 

and his family in the Netherlands, and I now live in Ontario. There's

an 8 hour time difference, 9 hours or so of flying to get to all of them.

But the phone, the mail, the email, social networking sites, and now Skype

help us stay connected, plus the memories we share and have keep

us going. We may be out of sight but definitely not out of heart or mind.

Not a day without thinking about my bros and siss! :)

"I thank my God every time I remember you."
~Phil. 1:3~

bless....

Goodness, I am so blessed!!!


What else can I say?


I thought it was a verse in the Bible, but cannot find it. I know though that I must count my blessings, and be truly thankful for them. O boy I forget that ALL the time. Sure I know that I'm blessed, that I have food and clothes an education and so many more, but I forget the 'little' blessings of tap water and eyelashes, or 'big' blessings like friends and good conversations. How in the world do we start counting our blessings, where to begin? Just looking around the room there are so many things I could list, and there are so many things I would miss (aka not consider blessing because it is so normal and I always take for granted.)


In less than four months of living in Ontario so many things I have changed. I met so many amazing people and made good friends. I feel like I've changed, grown in so many ways. I realize different things now, think about different things and am aiming to become more rational, and think more philosophical perhaps, so that I would love the truth more and not just think basic thoughts, but think deeper, because so many things I think are so very shallow. It's a blessing to be here and to be challenged by others to be more rational and to think deeper.
It's a blessing to be here and to learn so many new things and realize different things...


Just a few days from now I will be going home for the first time since the end of August. It will be a week from 4 months, and it has been long. The 'four' months have flown by, and I look back on for blessed months. Times of growth, although it has been long, I'd initially thought I'd feel more homesick. I feel blessed that I haven't been homesick at all, because it would have made it so much longer. Yes I am pumped to go home, it will be a blessing, but I am so blessed here too, more blessed than I would ever had imagined!!


Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow!

November...

I cannot believe it is November already. November is a month that never goes by unnoticed for me.. It used to, back in the day (wow, I make myself sound old), but now since several years ago November means CHANGE. I live in Ontario now, and the leaves have changed colour, but we're in this transition stage, between fall and winter. CHANGE...

November 2004, it was packing chaos. Huh? Yes, packing chaos. That is were were all living a chaotic life, finishing up the last days of school, the last youth events in the Netherlands, and packing our life up in boxes which was rather chaotic. Plus trying to make sense of all the mixed and chaotic emotions running through our heads. At least I was. Why? Because we were MOVING ACROSS THE WORLD!!  ~nuts~ And that is chaotic I tell you. But also a time of change, huge change, and painful change.

Now we're in 2011 and seven years have gone by in rather rapid speed. It's crazy I find, to see the changes every November, every year. I am pretty settled in in Canada that is. I just recently moved to Ontario for my education - am decently settled in but not quite, not really, not fully - but okay. Living. Surviving. To the fullest. Each moment. To God glory. Or that's the aim at least.

I find the next quoted song over played. And just before our overseas move, our emigration we heard this song often, it was quoted everywhere, and drove me crazy!

Now, when I hear this song in November, or even any other time of the year I think back on our move, on the chaotic time of change. I think back on how I had to face my fears, and just go to this unknown country. Not planning my own life (all the plans I did have were screwed up anyway so there was no point in planning anymore), not choosing my own ways (dude, why did I ever think I could).  But trusting in the Lord, trusting in His guiding hand, that He will provide, that He will lead and bring me where I need to go, where I need to be, in the UNKNOWN future...! Freaky!

Lord What E’er the Future’s Bringing

(Dutch hymn ‘Wat de toekomst brengen moge’)

Lord what e’re future’s bringing,

I am guided by Thy hand.

And I lift my eyes while singing,

To the unknown promised land.

Help me follow uncomplaining;

Father, what Thou dost is right.

Guide me in the time remaining,

Give me courage for the fight.

Lord, I’ll praise Thy name forever

Though my soul can’t understand;

Blessed are they, who doubt Thee never,

But who trust Thy guiding hand.

Though the way seems dark and lonely,

Keep me Lord, from asking “Why?”

Oft I’ll get the answer only,

When I get to heaven on high.

Don’t let me decide, my Father,

What the future ought to bring;

I would make mistakes, or rather,

I would mess up everything.

As a child, Lord, wilt Thou feed me,

Wilt Thou guide me by Thy Hand;

I would lose the way, please lead me,

Lead me to the promised land.

I know I am not in the promised land, and that's okay, there is time here to live for me and I can do that here to. You know I don't have to always ask why and be totally freaked out of what is going to happen. Even though I do often and am often worried (sad face) but that is okay. I have to remember to trust the Lord, even in those times when I really can't or don't feel like it. Trust Him when the entire world seems to look dark and grim (which it is) and He gives me strength and oil in my lamp to shine His light here, right now! Trust in Him that He'll not leave my side, that He'll carry me when things are hard, will surround me when times are dangerous and I need protection or something.

So many promises, promises for now and for in the promised land..

 

When you're walking, and fearing it. When you're so super unsure of the future, and are scared of what is to come, HE IS HERE, AND VERY NEAR!

~~I'd never heard this song in English before today; the Dutch version is different but eh whatevs... same story~~

in the Netherlands

Is in the Netherlands, and loving my time here. I'm tempted to type in Dutch since that's the language I have been communicating in for the last couple of weeks!
There are so many questions popping up in my head when Im here...
*what if we'd never moved
*can I still study here
*would I consider moving back, why or why not
*why/if/how....?
Many questions I have always had but never faced... never thought through, and now I'm here and many people ask me the questions... then what do you say? Give an honest answer, of course but what do I think honestly Im not even sure.
I'm thoroughly enjoying my time in the Netherlands.. Meeting new people other people, and people I haven't seen.. Travelling by bike, train, metro, tram, car, bus... who knows what, it's great! Visiting with old friends, places I haven't seen in YEARS! There are so many new things, so many new experiences... I try not to answer too many questions at the same time...
When I have to answer questions people ask me about Canada and all the things going on there, I wish I had a tape with all the answers recorded, I could press play and tell it all. Because sometimes it seems like it is just a 'repeat'of other conversations.

It is so fun to be here... and probably the only time for years... So I better get back to the Dutch world, and quit talking terrible English since I haven't spoken it for several weeks now... :)