time's running out...

I only fear that I don't have enough time left
To tell the world that there's no time left

~Forgive Me - Group 1 Crew~

This fall Megan, one of the beautiful people in my dorm this year, gave me a CD she put together with the song Forgive Me on it. This song has really touched me in the last while especially. 

I am not afraid because God is holding my breath, but knowing that time is running out, knowing that the world will end soon and awaiting Christ's return, makes me fear that I have not enough time to tell the world that Christ wants to be found. Now. And I can be part of this witnessing, this Gospel work, this commission Christ called me too. I have the privilege to work in His Kingdom in more ways then one, and I often take them for granted, think very lightly of them.

I just want to go big, or go home. I want to go places very far away and do very big things. Like safe the world or something. But that's not really where I am called to right now. Perhaps later. Who knows. I am thankful though for the opportunities that I do have right now. God has given me an awesome opportunity here everyday of my life. To live. For Him. In all things to glorify Him. I have this wonderful position to be involved in the lives of many. And not only that, but to grow in so many ways through walking alongside people, and even more so walking with Jesus. He has walked with me in these last 8 months. Every.single.step. He was there! O wow! He led me every step of the way, and now I am here. Not the same person as 8 months ago. Grown so much. Learned so much. Stretched so much. And given so much. I have been so blessed! I don't even know where to start. Yet must remember to in all things thank Him. For His work and His love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness towards me. I have been so blessed, and so often I complain. I find this hard.

How do I work in His Kingdom, how do I say I glorify Him all I do, while I complain? Sin? Don't trust? Get angry?

How does God give me the blessing and works in me again and again so that I dont have to be afraid? God has blessed me and made me grow, changed me and worked in me in so many ways, and why? Because He loves me!

Next school year, DV, I have the opportunity to work in the school among students, with students and for students, in God's Kingdom. I am so pumped.... and so very thankful that the Lord has put this on my path and led me here. I am so thankful that the Lord has given me this opportunity and a way in which I can learn, grow, and love Him, glorifying Him in all I do.

Remembering that time is running out, is scary. Especially since this semester is running out so quickly. Two exams left, and then going home. I am so excited. And yet it's weird. Time is running out here. My first year at Redeemer, 2nd year of post-secondary is done just about. Time is running out with people here, as some are leaving Redeemer for good. Time is running out. Not just at Redeemer. But for us in life.

We must remember, and live as if every day is our last. To the fullest! All for Him and for His glory. Witnessing and preaching to all nations, telling the world that there is no time left...!

Lord I don't know what I'm struggling for
There's go to be more
Than this life I know
But still I'm here fighting to never give up
I find strength in Your love
And You will see me through

~ Forgive Me - Group 1 Crew ~

~don't worry~

I'm a worrier. Not a warier, but a worrier. I know. I am. I worry too much. And it drives me crazy.

Just the other day I was thinking about what to do with my life. More like what to do with my life after this semester is over. More like where to work this summer. No I do not know where I will be working this summer. I do not know how I am going to get this or a job. That's a weird feeling. It's odd. I am not worried though. That has never - ever - happened! I am always worried, how come not now?!?!

What is going on? Even while thinking about next year, about next semester which starts come September, I was/am not worried. I thought for the longest time that maybe I wasn't supposed to go to Redeemer next semester. Maybe I should apply to another university. So I applied. I was kind of really confused as to where God was calling  me. But not worried. What? not worried? That's right. Not worried. I agree, the decision was difficult, first I had to choose if I should apply somewhere else, then if I did to which university I should apply. So I applied to university of Calgary. A great university I'm sure. I got accepted into both (I applied to two different undergrad programs) programs I applied to. It was great; I was accepted. Now I have decided to deny the offer of acceptance as they call it in fancy terms. That too was a hard decision to make. However, not near as hard as choosing to apply or not. So I denied their offer of acceptance. And I wasn't worried.. AHH! What was going on, why was I not worried? What was I doing wrong, I had never not been worried before?

Suddenly, just today while on the phone with a friend, I realized. It is God who gives me peace, who takes the worry from me. I had been able to put this whole application to Calgary process into His hands. Yes it was freaky, and I was scared like who knows what. But God helped me through this time of fear, and through the encouragement of many others around me, those far away and close by, I was led to Him. I was led and reminded to lay all my cares at His feet, and to trust that He will help me and take care of me. It wasn't easy, it was actually very difficult to trust Him and to let it go. And yes I was worried. Why? Because I, ME, likes to be in control. I like to control what I want to do. This time I wasn't in control, wasn't the one to rule this situation. (Wait, am I ever?) That's the weird part. I said before that it wasn't easy, but at the same time it was for that reason that why it was easy. In the whole process God has given me peace. It's strange I must say. I have never experienced peace like this before.

Telling my family that I am going to stay here for another year was difficult. I live far from my family and that is  not always easy. I would love to live closer to them, and they'd love to have me closer I am sure. However, that is not where God is calling me. He is not calling me to live in Alberta, He is not calling me to live in Calgary or to go to University there. He is calling me to go to Redeemer, to stay in Ancaster, to stay in Ontario. It is freaky to hear a calling that clearly. It is really freaky. It is freaky because it was so clearly confirmed to me like never before that I should stay here. (Questions and doubts soon came to me. Really does God call me? Why would He call me? Why was it so clear?) The confirmation God gave me was amazing; amazing as it came through a sense of peace. This sense of peace came over me, it washed over me, and gave me rest. Peace of mind, peace in my soul. It restored my soul. My whole being felt at peace, and I know that only the Prince of Peace can grant such peace which surpasses all my understanding.

Now, I am still unsure as to where to work this summer, and my summer is only 2.5 weeks away, it is a bit scary. However, I am not worried and I am at peace. I know that because God showed me the way and showed me where He desires me to be next semester, He opened this door to stay at Redeemer, He will keep this door open, and help me walk through it. He will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He will provide for me even though I do not understand how or when or through what means. I know He will provide, always, for those who are His children.

Who am I to say no, to not trust and not belief? Who am I to doubt? Who am I to not have faith in Him who cares even for the birdies and the insects, and they don't worry - so why should I?

Yes worry would be the most natural emotion (is it an emotion) to come over me, but it is not. Peace it what fills me. Peace it what washes over me. Not because of me, not because I understand this peace, but because the Prince of Peace lives in me, and He will provide! :D

That's why I am not worried....! 

And I feel fine! (Actually - I feel better than ever!)

GOD IS GOOD!

If you like here is a link to why I believe God led me here...

spring

It's truly Spring here. It has been for a while. But I always forget to share it with  you all. Also, in Alberta we were so often teased with Spring like weather to be surprised with another dump of snow. So I was unbelieving and didn't think Spring was actually here, so early, in the Eastern part of this country. It's beautiful. I LOVE sitting outdoors, with the sun shining and just chilling. I love just having a picnic on the green grass. I love seeing blossom and trees who start getting pretty fresh limegreen leaves. I love spring.

And now it is Easter weekend too. And Im sitting outside!

Yesterday I went to the Devil's Punch Bowl. Recommend it. Look over the city from the escarpment, with a cross lit up and the waterfall. Its gorgeous. Go there.

It was very fitting. As the cross stood on that hill in the distance I thought of the many songs talking about the cross. Good Friday. Christ died on the Cross.
The cross overlooks the city. Where so many people dwell. Where so many people who don't know Jesus live. And yet Jesus died for those people too. He died for us all. He died out of love for us. On the best Friday ever! He died for me too. And therefore I may live...

Also... I got to share this great experience with friends, with brothers and sisters. Brothers and sisters I just met, and who are my family. Because we all have the same Father. What greater days can we have, than be with family praising God while in nature...!

GOD IS SO GOOD!

university

The other day I was thinking, and realized

• that I love a challenge
• that I love to learn new things
• and I love to be with people

Being in university can be challenging, I'm definitely learning, and I'm with people almost always.
What more could I ask for, I'm in the right place?

Soup

I realized I'm twenty.
And never yet have made soup.
So today I made soup.
From scratch.
All the way, with noodles and chicken etc.
It was so yummy :)

And the girls loved it.
And I was excited.
From now on I can not say that I have never
made soup.
Because I have.
And it was super fun!

art

Art is not something I appreciate.

And now, after years of taking art in school,

I once again am taking an Art course, in university.

Seriously, I HAVE to take a fine art? Why in the world.

Art is not for me.

But to learn to appreciate art and to think of it as a way 

of worship and expression.

I want to find the relevancy of art in my life.
I want to appreciate it, to see God's hand and gift of creativity.

To be creative. Using gifts

OH HAPPY DAY

(ACC - African Children's Choir singing the song OH HAPPY DAY...) 


Well when it's 2am and you're studying for an exam that is at 9am... Really it is NOT a happy day!


But OH HAPPY DAY....! I GET TO FLY HOME TODAY... :)


(My ticket is printed, I will have 3+ hours to spare between exam and drive to the airport so that is when I will pack, and must write an exam and sleep before I go. Can I just say it one more time?! OH HAPPY DAY)

bless....

Goodness, I am so blessed!!!


What else can I say?


I thought it was a verse in the Bible, but cannot find it. I know though that I must count my blessings, and be truly thankful for them. O boy I forget that ALL the time. Sure I know that I'm blessed, that I have food and clothes an education and so many more, but I forget the 'little' blessings of tap water and eyelashes, or 'big' blessings like friends and good conversations. How in the world do we start counting our blessings, where to begin? Just looking around the room there are so many things I could list, and there are so many things I would miss (aka not consider blessing because it is so normal and I always take for granted.)


In less than four months of living in Ontario so many things I have changed. I met so many amazing people and made good friends. I feel like I've changed, grown in so many ways. I realize different things now, think about different things and am aiming to become more rational, and think more philosophical perhaps, so that I would love the truth more and not just think basic thoughts, but think deeper, because so many things I think are so very shallow. It's a blessing to be here and to be challenged by others to be more rational and to think deeper.
It's a blessing to be here and to learn so many new things and realize different things...


Just a few days from now I will be going home for the first time since the end of August. It will be a week from 4 months, and it has been long. The 'four' months have flown by, and I look back on for blessed months. Times of growth, although it has been long, I'd initially thought I'd feel more homesick. I feel blessed that I haven't been homesick at all, because it would have made it so much longer. Yes I am pumped to go home, it will be a blessing, but I am so blessed here too, more blessed than I would ever had imagined!!


Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow!

procrastination III

My major is taking up lots of time.
My major as in procrastination.

My minor is taking up lots of time.
My minor as in 'finddisractionsalways'.

Ancaster, On

You may have noticed that now on the right side by live-view or something it says Ancaster, ON. That's me...! From now on I'll be posting from my dorm room, my office, my pod, lol, my place.. It's pretty cozy here, and it's starting to feel a bit more normal. I woke up the first couple of nights confused. Now it's good. Its my space, in Dorm 8 Room B on the left side.. So if you ever come and visit me youll know where to find me. Oh and if you cant get in, take a seat on the porch and wait until someone is done their classes, or ring the door bell!
Anyways, so I have been taking several classes, and loving every second of it. Except for one of the first classes I had which was French. So I dropped it. No it wasn't that easy, I was quite overwhelmed and quite confused and every other word you can think of. But now I'm taking philosophy this semester, and next semester Ill be taking an extra History class instead of French..  And Ill tell you what, Im actually pretty excited. (which I myself cant believe)
So some things. If you send me mail it will be posted on my wall beside my desk. If you send me a pic, you'll end up on the wall of fame! :d Yeah! So please do. If you want my mailing address, let me know! I'll be happy to send it to you :D
Also, I have just recently noticed how many, many !! I use, and I am so sorry. I feel bad...! And guess what, it happens all the time. So I'm gonna try not to do that. Also, please dont always talk to me when Im online on Facebook. Because YOU ARE keeping me from homework. LOL just kidding, I will be trying not to be on Facebook as often and as much, just because I just started university, and already have not read all the assigned readings. Okay, it's true, and I agree, I NEVER confess those kinds of things, but I will now. I haven't read all my history, and then there is religion readings and such too, and time flies when there are lots of things to do... So yeah, I will be trying not to be on Facebook as much, and to keep up with the work, so please, remind me. :D (And that is school work)
For the rest, I hope to eventually post pictures of my room and such on here, but not right now.. it takes forever.... Sorry...

summer...

...is coming to a close.

At least the part of the summer that is spent at home. I am working a job now, but that will be done soon. Two weeks from today I will be travelling East, and starting a new chapter in my life.
I cannot believe how fast the time is going and how much I still have to get done in the next weeks before moving to Ontario. There is a huge list of stuff I seem to have to get together, and a lot of things I have to accomplish in my own home here in Alberta before I can take off. I take one day at a time, and just keep going, while enjoying the last days here with my family and friends.

Soon I will be student, once again. And I can't tell you how excited I am to take this step! :)