November...

I cannot believe it is November already. November is a month that never goes by unnoticed for me.. It used to, back in the day (wow, I make myself sound old), but now since several years ago November means CHANGE. I live in Ontario now, and the leaves have changed colour, but we're in this transition stage, between fall and winter. CHANGE...

November 2004, it was packing chaos. Huh? Yes, packing chaos. That is were were all living a chaotic life, finishing up the last days of school, the last youth events in the Netherlands, and packing our life up in boxes which was rather chaotic. Plus trying to make sense of all the mixed and chaotic emotions running through our heads. At least I was. Why? Because we were MOVING ACROSS THE WORLD!!  ~nuts~ And that is chaotic I tell you. But also a time of change, huge change, and painful change.

Now we're in 2011 and seven years have gone by in rather rapid speed. It's crazy I find, to see the changes every November, every year. I am pretty settled in in Canada that is. I just recently moved to Ontario for my education - am decently settled in but not quite, not really, not fully - but okay. Living. Surviving. To the fullest. Each moment. To God glory. Or that's the aim at least.

I find the next quoted song over played. And just before our overseas move, our emigration we heard this song often, it was quoted everywhere, and drove me crazy!

Now, when I hear this song in November, or even any other time of the year I think back on our move, on the chaotic time of change. I think back on how I had to face my fears, and just go to this unknown country. Not planning my own life (all the plans I did have were screwed up anyway so there was no point in planning anymore), not choosing my own ways (dude, why did I ever think I could).  But trusting in the Lord, trusting in His guiding hand, that He will provide, that He will lead and bring me where I need to go, where I need to be, in the UNKNOWN future...! Freaky!

Lord What E’er the Future’s Bringing

(Dutch hymn ‘Wat de toekomst brengen moge’)

Lord what e’re future’s bringing,

I am guided by Thy hand.

And I lift my eyes while singing,

To the unknown promised land.

Help me follow uncomplaining;

Father, what Thou dost is right.

Guide me in the time remaining,

Give me courage for the fight.

Lord, I’ll praise Thy name forever

Though my soul can’t understand;

Blessed are they, who doubt Thee never,

But who trust Thy guiding hand.

Though the way seems dark and lonely,

Keep me Lord, from asking “Why?”

Oft I’ll get the answer only,

When I get to heaven on high.

Don’t let me decide, my Father,

What the future ought to bring;

I would make mistakes, or rather,

I would mess up everything.

As a child, Lord, wilt Thou feed me,

Wilt Thou guide me by Thy Hand;

I would lose the way, please lead me,

Lead me to the promised land.

I know I am not in the promised land, and that's okay, there is time here to live for me and I can do that here to. You know I don't have to always ask why and be totally freaked out of what is going to happen. Even though I do often and am often worried (sad face) but that is okay. I have to remember to trust the Lord, even in those times when I really can't or don't feel like it. Trust Him when the entire world seems to look dark and grim (which it is) and He gives me strength and oil in my lamp to shine His light here, right now! Trust in Him that He'll not leave my side, that He'll carry me when things are hard, will surround me when times are dangerous and I need protection or something.

So many promises, promises for now and for in the promised land..

 

When you're walking, and fearing it. When you're so super unsure of the future, and are scared of what is to come, HE IS HERE, AND VERY NEAR!

~~I'd never heard this song in English before today; the Dutch version is different but eh whatevs... same story~~