I just wanted to know...

"...And lead me not into temptation..."
~Matt. 6:13~

Okay. I've given up. 

Well not really. But have realized I should probably not go some places at some times. Yesterday, after work at three, I had to run a couple of errands. I could use some food, my stomach was growling. However, what happened was I didn't need anything. There is enough food at the dorm for me, and since I'm the only one at the dorm this week I did not need to go anywhere to get more.

FORTINOS. It's a grocery story in the Loblaw's franchise thing. It's name is all uppercase. Like it's calling you over. Yelling your name. HELLO, OVER HERE. IT'S FORTINOS. COME IN. Well, I had not yet been at that particular Fortinos. Not shopped there yet. And I was kinda hungry. So...

Okay I find myself parking my car in the parking lot. Grab my purse, lock the doors and walk into Fortinos. I feel like an idiot. Walk around aimlessly. Checking every isle to find something yummy. I think people look at me, since I stare at each product, pick it up, look at it and then put it back. I have no cart. I have no basket. Fine, I'll get something. Eh the Rice Cakes are on sale. Perfect, and its even the good quality brand, costing the same as the NoName brand. Score.. O shit. I just grabbed something I did not need.

Only minutes later I don't feel so much like an idiot any more. I have a basket, and it's filling up... I see the produce section, o boy do I love produce... Yummy fruits and veggies... And then last but not least I find this orchid. It's only $15...and I have wanted it for a long time. I kind of deserve it...I mean I'm by myself at the dorm, and need a pretty companion to get me through these dreary winter days....

Then I get to the till. The cashier tells me how much it costs and I am surprised. I pay and drive to the dorm. When I get there I realize that I led myself into temptation. Grocery stores and me, well lets just say it's not a good combination. Especially not when I am hungry, don't need anything, and don't really have money for it. I was led into temptation, even though I remember praying very consciously yesterday 'and lead me not into tempation..' Why God? Why did I go? Why can't I resist temptations like grocery stores....

While thinking that I heard myself come up with excuses. Well I had never been in that Fortinos before and I just wanted to know what it looked like. I just wanted to know if it is cheaper or more expensive then Sobeys. I just.....

I'm just BSing myself while coming up with the excuses. I know the excuses I come up with are partially true. But I totally lied to myself about it...

So now I've lied and given into temptation...

Many times when we're faced with temptations we come up with excuses. I find that in the past it was often an excuse that included "I just wanted to know" in the excuse. I have been led astray that way many times. Just because I wanted to know... what it was like.. how it was.. what it looked like.. how I would feel.. what would happen....

I just wanted to know...

Now I know, just like many sources say, to not go to a grocery store on an empty(er) stomach. And maybe I should not go to the grocery store alone. Plus if I do have to go I must make a list of things I need and not go past that list. I think Ill be better of that way. Hopefully.

And pray often, for strength and self-control, so that I will not be led into temptation. again. and again. and again.

the power of prayer

Pray without ceasing ~ 1 Thes. 5:17

I was having a very sad and grumpy day this past Monday. Just after supper my prayers were answered. I received a call, and got a job! A great job that I'd been hoping for for months (since Christmas time 2009). It was going to work out, or so we thought. However, as the months went by we all realized it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to help the kids catch up with their school work and I wasn't going to the States anymore. So I found a new job.

Now that job is over, I am no longer a nanny. I was about to start pulling my hair out. What was I gonna do for the month of August? Sit around at home and wait until school starts? yeah, NO. So I was getting kind of grumpy Monday, well actually very grumpy..

And then the phone rang, and I was offered a job. Ten minutes, if even, later I had the job and I started this morning. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.. But even more so, I am thankful. Thankful that the Lord heard my prayers, and answered them! Even though I didn't think it was going to happen anymore, the Lord made it happen, in His timing. Maybe I had been praying the wrong way, with my own desires in mind. Maybe I was wanting 'me' glory instead of glorifying Him through my work. I don't know, but the Lord chose this time to answer the prayers of multiple people. Not in our timing, but in His.

We have to pray without ceasing, I have to pray without ceasing. And not forget that I have to pray 'not my will, but Thy will be done Oh Lord!'

Oh Happy Day! That I may have a faithful Lord and Father, Who always hears, always listens, and always answers!

Rejoice in the LORD alway, and again I say, Rejoice.

~ Phil. 4:4