whenever I think...

For so long I have been looking forward to going back to university, and I still am. Months of planning and thinking about it, and now it's only 2 and a half months away. I am still working as an Educational Assistant and loving it. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone. Only a week and a half left and the school year is over.

I am not sure I am ready for this. Not sure if I am ready to be done working. Ready to not go to work every morning and be welcomed by little students who are so excited to see their teachers. Not sure if I am ready to leave them all behind, and not see them grow, not work with them.

I am not sure I am ready for moving on myself either. It is going to be so sad to say good-bye next week. To wave the little students off and enjoy my summer. Knowing that I won't be coming back to work with them - or full time with other students - for several years. Knowing that my life will never be the same.

Whenever I think of the last day of school I hope that it won't come so soon. Whenever I think of the last day of school I get sort of scared, because I don't know how I will react, how I will deal with it, if I can do any of it.
I know I can't do it by myself, and the support and understanding I get from other staff at the school I work at is amazing. They have been supportive all along, since day one in September, and I could not have asked for a better colleagues.

Whenever I think of moving on, I look back on a year full of learning - more than I have learned in the 14 years of school and one year of college.

"People learn something every day,
and a lot
of times it's that what they learned
the day before was wrong." 
~Bill Vaughan~