one more post this month

I had said I would put one more post up this month. Well here it is.

Two families in our church are moving away. Both to Ontario. I do not really know what to think of this. They move because that is what they believe they need to do, not because it is easy for them. They leave many people behind here in Alberta, to find many more people in there new church.

I truly am excited for them. Stand in awe that they take this step. A big leap into the unknown.
I also know that it is hard. Not very long ago, I had to take a big step into the unknown also. But really, when is life not unknown? When in life do we not take big steps?

For me, although I am excited that they are doing, I am sad. Sad because we will be left here. Sad because our church is loosing members, the body is loosing parts. And that hurts. There is a void right now. A place that needs to be filled. That will be filled. Maybe not right away like we think, maybe not with who we think. But it will happen. People will come. The voids will be filled. In His timing. Through Him, the Head of the Church!

1 Corinthians 12:7-24

But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. 8For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; 9To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; 10To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: 11But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will. 12For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. 13For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. 14For the body is not one member, but many. 15If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 16And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 17If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? 18But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 19And if they were all one member, where were the body? 20But now are they many members, yet but one body. 21And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. 22Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: 23And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. 24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked.

when things happen

I feel like I have said the title of this post many times. Many times before things happen that make my view on life change. I have had quite the crazy experience yesterday. A thing that happened, and changed my life.

"for I am the LORD that healeth thee." ~ Exodus 15:26

To make a long story short, yesterday morning, at around 620 am the phone rang. I think it is ridiculous when people call us at this crazy hour, but the caller wanted my mam to work a shift in the homecare that day. The phone had rung about four or five times and it was driving me crazy. I quickly got up and was ready to run and pick up the phone. As my left foot touched the ground it gave way and within a matter of seconds I sat on the ground. I wrapped my arms around my leg, because it felt as if there was no leg. Nothing had supported me when I was ready to get the phone, my legs were not ready to stand up. My sister came to me right away and tried to get me up, but it didn't work. She ran to get my mom, meanwhile I was able to hoist myself back on my bed and put my leg up on my desk. I sat in a weird position, with my leg sideways, and then I saw blood on the floor. O no! What had happened. My mom and sister came running down the stairs, and saw the blood. I think it must have scared them. They then traced the blood back to my foot. There was a cut under my pinky toe on my left leg (the leg that wouldn't support me). We had to get to emerge, and quick. As I was getting dressed, I started to feel hot and cold, my lips tingled and felt freezing. I had a hard time breathing normally, and basically my body was in state of shock. My mom called nine-one-one. Not because of the cut I had under my foot, but because of how my body reacted to it. The ambulance came from Red Deer, because the local ambulance was at another call. It took them about 20min. By that time I was feeling fine, had gotten dressed, read a couple of pages in my book, and talking like crazy.
My stomach growled, my throat felt parched, but the person on the 911phone had told mom that I couldn't drink or eat anything.

"And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." ~ Genesis 2:7

When the paramedics arrived they asked me many questions, looked at my toe, asked if I could get up, walked beside me and led me upstairs, where they checked my pulse (72), blood pressure (109/78), and glucose level (4.4). They said my glucose level was pretty low, but the rest was good. That made us all think further. I can always eat. I drink tons. I do not loose weight. What if it diabetes, what if I have some sort of disease we never knew about? And what happened to my foot, how did it get cut?
When the paramedics left, I was finally allowed to eat (it was 730, and I felt like I was about to fall over again). After I had some breakfast we went to the hospital, where I was helped just about right away (compared to the last time, read 'the hospital', a post from July). The doctor and nurse took the dressing off and looked in the cut. There was nothing to be found. Then they froze my pinky toe. (My toes are wierd, I'll tell you that. I have inherited the trait of toes diving underneath each other, and it can hurt like crazy because they are permanently bend.) The dr, prior to freezing it, pulled my pinky toe straight (OUCH!), then squeezed it hard and stuck a needle in it. I felt it, it hurt, it burnt, and I felt the solution slowly enter my body. I wasn't supposed to feel the second needle. But sadly, I did feel tat. The same thing happened. After 5 minutes my toe was frozen. I have never felt a 'freezing' before, except at the dentist -once and never again!- and I always thought it wouldn't hurt. But boy was it ever painful. Anyway, then the doctor put two stitches in and a nurse cleaned and wrapped my wound.
We were out of the hospital within an hour! :D My mom and I ran some errands, as I limped and hobbled through town and carefully stepped in the truck. It hurt like crazy. Yesterday I had my leg up all day long, today I didn't. It's my own fault that my foot has been throbbing for the last 5 or 6 hours.
Tomorrow my foot is allowed to get wet! :D Yeah, I getta take a shower. And in 9 days my stitches can come out. I will get my blood work done sometime in the near future. Just to make sure there is nothing seriously wrong. However, the doctor in the hospital said that it isn't rare for people to collapse when they get up too fast after sleeping all night, and that my glucose level was perfectly normal for the state I was in (not having eaten for hours because it was just past 6am), and I do not have to worry about diabetes.
We think that when my leg collapsed my foot landed awkwardly, my toes folded backwards (up), and the skin of my pinky toe stretched so much that it ripped. The cut goes from the side of the foot to about the second (ringfinger) toe, about 1.5cm and is about .5 centimeter deep. It sounds pretty disgusting, and it really is pretty disgusting. And yes it is very painful.

However I just think, when things like this happen, it scares me. I do not know what is wrong with me. Maybe I do have something wrong with me that is quite serious but we do not know about. At least the doctor said it cannot be diabetes because my glucose is too high for that. But who knows. When things like this happen, you learn. I learned that I should not get up so quickly. I learned that I need to wake up slowly and get 'me' ready to set both feet on the floor. I learned that I do not have things in control. I learned that even though I was going to the most normal and routinely thing I am not the one who says I will get out of bed that day, or safely arrive at a destination (the phone). I realized, that it is not me who gives me life, gives me breath, gives me health, strength, and all that I stand in need of. I learned that without God I am nothing. I learned that I can only depend on Him, for every single thing in my life!

"For in him we live, and move, and have our being;" ~ Acts 17:28a

cleaning

I haven't been very active on this blog; therefore I have set a new goal. Get more blog posts up this month then I did in the previous month. I have eight days to write three posts. It got me thinking. What to write, what to write? Initially I thought that I would have an easy time coming up with things to write about. My brain is a continual flow of many thoughts, and I can never stop writing in letters. (I have written over 15 page letters before; wouldn't you like to see a post that long.) However, it is impossible to write for me when I do not have inspiration.

"Everybody needs inspiration." ~Miley Cyrus

You may wonder where and when I get my inspiration. It always depends actually. Sometimes when I am driving a thought pops up in my head of what I can write about. Other times I can not sleep and a blog appears completely written out on my eyelids. Imagine that, it's pretty wierd. As I stare at the ceiling, as I drive the endless miles to work, as I wash the dishes, as I mop kitchen floors and scrub out the sinks. Many times I don't even know what inspired me to write. However most of the times it is the hours I spend cleaning bathroom floors and other places in the house that blog topics or random phrases walk into my train of thought and keep me thinking.

Cleaning is one of my hobbies. It has not always been like that. I used to despise it, perhaps because my mom required me to clean the bathrooms years ago. I clean for other people, I clean our own house, and I often have urges to clean when I am in other places. I am as crazy as wanting to hanging picture frames straight when I am in an office somewhere or dust the shelves in a store. I know, it's pretty nuts, it might creep you out, and don't worry about that, because it creeps me out too at times.
Anyway, as I was cleaning today another thought popped up. Why not blog about cleaning?! I mean I do it just about daily, either in my own house or some other place. It is a regular past time activity of mine, and it gives me lots of time to think. To think about life, about decisions, faith, family, holidays, weather, future, food, reading, who knows what I all think about.

Today it was actually about sin and the cleansing that is offered to sinners.

Even though I enjoy cleaning a lot it sometimes frustrates me. I clean for half my living (sound wierd, I have two different kind of jobs, cleaning and teaching. Cleaning is half my income). ANd do get sick of it at times. It is not that the cleaning itself drives me crazy. It is me that drives me crazy. As I am cleaning my brain thinks,

'really, what is the point of this? As soon as someone showers the shower door is splattered and splashed on again. As soon as someone uses a plate it gets dirty again. As soon as someone touches the doorknob I just cleaned and disinfected, it will be infected and unclean again.'

I then need to come to my senses, call myself back to real life. Whenever those thoughts enter my mind I make them go away. I don't like thinking that way. Why not, you may wonder. Well because it makes me negative. It makes me feel useless, and wonder if I am wasting my time cleaning.
How do I make them go away?
I go back to Christ. He gave us a living example. He washed the feet of the disciples. Not only did He wash their feet, He washed them in complete. The Gospel of John writes about this in chapter 13. Peter asked the Lord, 'dost thou wash my feet?' Peter thinks this is crazy! Why would Christ wash our feet, He is the Master. But Christ responds, 'What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter. If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me'(vs 7,8).

Christ washed the feet of His servants, His children because He knew what was to come. He knew that we need the cleansing power of His blood. He knew that without Him we would never live. We would never be part of His Royal family. Without His cleaning we can not live. He not only died on the cross for us to wash away our sins, but He continues to cleans our sins. Each time He forgives our sins we are washed clean. Completely. Washed in the blood of the Lamb. Christ continues to wash our sin away. He never gets sick of it. He never doesn't want to do it. He does it because He loves us!

When I don't feel like cleaning I pray that the Lord will give me the same joy in cleaning that Christ has when He cleaned/cleans my sins away.

Titus 3:4-6 ~

But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;

writing

"Anyone can become a writer. The trick is staying a writer." ~ Harlan Ellison

I do not think of my self as a writer. Not at all. Yes, I would love to be a writer, to be an author, but believe I am far from that. It is true that I love to write, to put my thoughts down on paper, to let it all go, and then to read it again, who knows when.

"Don't think it, ink it." ~Mark Hansen

Teachers always told me I had to proofread, not someone else's work only, but my own writing also. I find that hard. If I have written something and then have to read it over again, my right hand ring finger automatically goes to the backspace button on my dear keyboard. It is just about impossible for me to read over my own writing just minutes after I have written it. Even if it is a day, or a week later the mistakes are overseen. Now, I know this is a bad thing. Every writer, every student, everyone should be able to read over their own writing and see the mistakes. Well when I do that, I just want to delete it all. I think I have gone crazy, talked on and on about nothing, and no one is interested.


"It's never too late--in fiction or in life--to revise." ~Nancy Thayer

Maybe you have noticed a thousand-and-one spelling mistakes in only one blog, and I am sorry about that. It is because I don't proofread my own writing. Not because I don't believe in proofreading. I do think it is very good to proofread, but not my own stuff. I have proofread many essays and projects for many people over the years, and really enjoy doing it for others. I then do not have the urge to delete it all. I guess my eyes look at other's writing differently then at my own.
Maybe it is because I doubt my own ability. Maybe it is because I think I don't write very well. Maybe it is because I doubt that any one is interested. Maybe it is because I write thinking no one really cares about what I write. Like hello, what good writing can come out of my typing? How do I correct my own writing if I think it is terrible in the first place.
Well that is a bit too the extremes, I don't think my writing is terrible quite yet. (If you think so, please, do tell me!) I know that I make many mistakes, that I do not use the right adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, pronouns, verb tenses and all the other whatnots that belong in a proper sentence. I know I can, and do write, quite crazily. It might be gibberish to you, and sometimes it is to me too.
Now, there is one thing that I can tell you about my writing. If you can follow my writing, you can follow the way I think. If you can understand my writing, you can understand the way I think. Please tell me if you do follow and understand my writing, because I would love to myself.

"There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up a pen to write." William Makepeace Thackeray

celeb sibs

A lot of things have been happening this past weekend. All to do with my siblings.


On Saturday the fourteenth it was my older sister's birthday. Helma is four years older than I am and is a great teacher (she claims she is not). From the little things like teaching me how to play dress up and how to take care of our dolls to how to share a room way back in the day. She also gave my my first mask (I think I was 8 or so and my parents thought it was ridiculous). She taught me how to giggle, how to argue, how to keep my mouth shut, and how to talk. She taught me how to listen, how to learn 30 French vocab words in one night when I first entered high school in Holland. She taught me how to be a sisters, how to be a better sister, how to be a loving sister. She taught me how to solve many, many math problems even though she was four years ahead of me. She taught me ow so many things.
When we first moved to Canada I was 13 and she was 17. Boy, was I ever shy, and here comes Helma, my life saver. She was awesome, you know why? I'll tell you! She talked for me. If someone asked how old I was she would tell them, if someone asked where we lived she would tell them. I was like a little child following her mom. I must have driven Helma nuts but eh, it made life a little easier for me.
Helma is the more outgoing type of the two. She is awesome. She talks to everyone. She has always had outgoing jobs. She was always able to have good comebacks (ow she still does by the way), she is able to tell you many many stories, if you just wait long enough. (We shared a room for the first half a year in Canada.) Let's just say many nights we were up for hours, because we first had to do our homework, then go on MSN with the Dutch people (midnight here is 8am there), and then we would just talk... :) lol).
She showed me how to take big steps, like go to college, move out, and do some crazy things all in one (like) week it seemed to me. She was gone and I missed her terribly. That was, let's see, four years ago now? She came back for a while after college, and then got married! I was of course happy for her, but eh, who can I talk to now, late in the night...?
Helm, you know what, I think you should move back in. It is way to quiet around here without you, it's no fun not having my older sister to teach me all the little things only sisters can teach me :( I love you!


Next, on the 15th of August, my big, single, then with girlfriend brother got engaged. Peter and Cindy have been dating for a year I think, and now got engaged! They are going to get married his Winter. I'm pumped. For us. For them. For him. He's so excited. Now who can not get excited when the old bro is excited?! Peter and Cindy, I hope you have tons of fun with your wedding planning, and are looking forward to all that is to come! :D I can't wait for the big day!



A day later, August 16th, was Corne (my second brother) and Erika's fifth anniversary. It is so crazy that it has been five years already! It sure does not seem that way to me. But it is so. Now you oughta know that C+E live in the Netherlands and we do not. Even though they have been married for quite a few years, we have only seen them together as a married couple in real life for about hmm say 6-8 weeks! I know, it's pretty scary. But I know that they're still my bro and sil, that they always will be. No matter where they are, no matter what they do, they will always be my brother and sister in law. They know have my one and only adorable nephew so far! He's super, and hearing all the things over phone and email, its just super. I love them, but
miss the three van Ipertjes in Nederland very much so.


Dear siblings, I think you all deserve to have the name celeb sibs, because you need to be celebrated. Always.

I love you! :D

mom should be home

My mom is in Orlando right now. For a Tupperware meeting/conference. She left this past Monday and won't be back until late Saturday night. It might not seem like something big, and that's what I thought.. She's just gone a couple of days, and will be back sooner then we think. Well that's what my brain was telling me the last week, but now I think a little different.
It's rather boring without a mam around. I mean doing the chores, the laundry,dishes, clean up, I don't really mind doing that.
But coming home to a house that's quiet. To a kitchen where there is no one cooking. To an upstairs where there is no one reading her book. To a home where no one tells you what to do, and you cant really ask how to do stuff either. Well it's crazy, but I even miss the part of being 'bossed' around. I think everyone wishes at one point during their childhood/teenage years that moms weren't there. Just so that we could have the freedom, no one telling us what to do. No one saying how to do it, and no complaints of how we have done it.



For me, I always thought so too. My dad has been gone before, several times actually - to Holland and away for work. I can only remember one time that my mom was gone for more then a day, and that was way back in 2002. I was hmm 11 then, and boy did I miss her. My dad and mom went to Canada for two weeks then and us kids were billeted out to other places, it wasn't so bad really. But now, for the first time in 8 years my mom is gone, for almost a WEEK! wha! I miss her, and I certainly hope she does come back on Saturday. And even more so, doesn't go on a trip for a long time, at least not if it means that we have to be home alone, blagh.
I'll be sure to tell her that though, because I think that is something a mom needs to know, that she's appreciated, loved, and missed when she isn't here.

chaos

It's summer here in Canada, and that means no school. It's great, I love it! The beautiful weather, the days off school, the things you can do during the long days, it's awesome.
My summer has been a busy one, and it is slowly coming to a close. There are many things I had planned to do this summer, but sadly to say, I haven't really gotten to them at all. It seems that I am unorganized. It's a big maze in my head. It's a chaos in my room, in my schedule, in every day. And because it is such a chaos, I cant seem to get stuff done, think straight, keep up with the plans I had, and do the things I should be doing.
There are a couple of weeks left before school starts, and my goal is to get some stuff done, get organized and ready for a new part+start.

choices and changes

I realize that everyone has to make choices, always. I don't about you, but choices confuse me. Choices always come with crazy changes. If I say yes to this, what will happen later, in the next minute, hour, day....and so on. But eh, we gotta make those choices, we gotta face those changes.

But how do we decide? Since I was a little girl I have wanted to become a teacher. To teach children, to share information, gifts, talents, to build and to encourage, to help and support, to give and to be there for the students. What more can you want? Anyway, during my three high school years things went a little different than I had planned. My grades weren't as high as I had hoped, my personal life went whacko, and well, all in all, I wasn't able to go to university. I settled with something else.

Instead of going to university and getting my B.Ed right after high school I decided to go for Educational Assistant at a community college instead. It was not what I wanted, not what I had hoped, and not what I had planned. But it was a choice I made, because I knew I had to do something so that I would at least get a paper of some sort. I knew that if I wouldn't go further after high school I would probably never do a thing, and just work.

Going to college this past year was a choice I made, and it brought many changes. I am now an EA, and although I love the job, the kids, the people, the things I do, it is not what I wanted. It's a thing I did because I had to make a choice. A choice that changed my life.

I have now chosen to work this coming year. Work as an EA for a year, and my plan is to go to university(uni) the year after. It's a choice that will change my life now because of all the experience I get in the school this year. Now my hope is to actually get into uni and not change my mind, or change my plans again.

That's my hope, and my plan though. I don't know if it is the right plan, the right hope, the right choice. I would love to have the choices I should make written out for me. With bullet points or something. However, we all know that's not how life is.

I hate changes, but I know they come with the choices I make. Now this coming year I will have to make some choices. Find out what I want to study in uni, what I want to do with my life. Where I want to go to uni, and... and... and...!

How though? any advice? please tell?!

to my lil' sis'

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.
~Isadora James~

My little sister is celebrating her 17th birthday today. I can't believe how old she is getting. I know, so am I, but eh, she was always little and younger than I am, and now she is getting older and older :( She'll never be my little sister to whom I read stories, with who I played dress up and house, who I shared a room with for 11 years, and when we had to clean our room it took several weekends because we'd end up playing. She'll never be that little sister whom I could tell what to do. She was always there for me, and we often played together.
We are now the only 2 of 5 kids left in our house. It's boring, I must say since we used to have so many of us. But I am very thankful for my sister; in the last couple of years she has become my friend. I have learned to share with her, to appreciate her, to love her, to ask her questions, to answer her questions, to help her when she needs me, to shop with her, encourage her, to help her with her homework and cleaning her room, to curl her hair, to laugh and cry with her, to dance and sing with her, and most of all to be a friend to her.
I love you my dear lil' sis' and hope that we will continue to make many memories, share laughs and cries, have good and bad days, and recover. I pray that you will always be my little sister, and my friend.

the power of prayer

Pray without ceasing ~ 1 Thes. 5:17

I was having a very sad and grumpy day this past Monday. Just after supper my prayers were answered. I received a call, and got a job! A great job that I'd been hoping for for months (since Christmas time 2009). It was going to work out, or so we thought. However, as the months went by we all realized it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to help the kids catch up with their school work and I wasn't going to the States anymore. So I found a new job.

Now that job is over, I am no longer a nanny. I was about to start pulling my hair out. What was I gonna do for the month of August? Sit around at home and wait until school starts? yeah, NO. So I was getting kind of grumpy Monday, well actually very grumpy..

And then the phone rang, and I was offered a job. Ten minutes, if even, later I had the job and I started this morning. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.. But even more so, I am thankful. Thankful that the Lord heard my prayers, and answered them! Even though I didn't think it was going to happen anymore, the Lord made it happen, in His timing. Maybe I had been praying the wrong way, with my own desires in mind. Maybe I was wanting 'me' glory instead of glorifying Him through my work. I don't know, but the Lord chose this time to answer the prayers of multiple people. Not in our timing, but in His.

We have to pray without ceasing, I have to pray without ceasing. And not forget that I have to pray 'not my will, but Thy will be done Oh Lord!'

Oh Happy Day! That I may have a faithful Lord and Father, Who always hears, always listens, and always answers!

Rejoice in the LORD alway, and again I say, Rejoice.

~ Phil. 4:4

little inspiration

Sorry peoples,

I haven't had a whole lot of inspiration in the last few days.
I know I could just write about something, but I dont want to do that.
It's not fun to write blogs about nothing, or something just because
I had to write something. So I will try to get some inspiration again,
so that I can write a worthwhile post in the near future.

For now, I guess you will just have to wait and see while I'm digging
for that inspiration that I need ;)