choices and changes

I realize that everyone has to make choices, always. I don't about you, but choices confuse me. Choices always come with crazy changes. If I say yes to this, what will happen later, in the next minute, hour, day....and so on. But eh, we gotta make those choices, we gotta face those changes.

But how do we decide? Since I was a little girl I have wanted to become a teacher. To teach children, to share information, gifts, talents, to build and to encourage, to help and support, to give and to be there for the students. What more can you want? Anyway, during my three high school years things went a little different than I had planned. My grades weren't as high as I had hoped, my personal life went whacko, and well, all in all, I wasn't able to go to university. I settled with something else.

Instead of going to university and getting my B.Ed right after high school I decided to go for Educational Assistant at a community college instead. It was not what I wanted, not what I had hoped, and not what I had planned. But it was a choice I made, because I knew I had to do something so that I would at least get a paper of some sort. I knew that if I wouldn't go further after high school I would probably never do a thing, and just work.

Going to college this past year was a choice I made, and it brought many changes. I am now an EA, and although I love the job, the kids, the people, the things I do, it is not what I wanted. It's a thing I did because I had to make a choice. A choice that changed my life.

I have now chosen to work this coming year. Work as an EA for a year, and my plan is to go to university(uni) the year after. It's a choice that will change my life now because of all the experience I get in the school this year. Now my hope is to actually get into uni and not change my mind, or change my plans again.

That's my hope, and my plan though. I don't know if it is the right plan, the right hope, the right choice. I would love to have the choices I should make written out for me. With bullet points or something. However, we all know that's not how life is.

I hate changes, but I know they come with the choices I make. Now this coming year I will have to make some choices. Find out what I want to study in uni, what I want to do with my life. Where I want to go to uni, and... and... and...!

How though? any advice? please tell?!