autumn

"As long as the earth endures,
seedtime and harvest,
cold and heat,
summer and winter,
day and night will never cease"
~ Genesis 8:22

"for the harvest of the earth is ripe." ~Revelation 14:15d


"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." ~Ecclesiastes 3:11


"But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned. But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak." ~ Hebrews 6:8-9


"You will be like an oak with fading leaves, like a garden without water" ~ Isaiah 1:30

"The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose." ~Ecclesiastes 1:5

exposure

Around this time last year H1N1 was a big thing. Everyone was freaking out about it. Last year I was in college, among many adults. Now I'm around little children all the time. Now I don't know the facts; don't know if more bacteria live among adults or children. But I know that after a while of being in the same environment and exposed to the same bacteria you become immune to those bacteria, and your body doesn't get sick easily.
Now that school has just started I have been exposed to many different little germs that float around the school. I'm not immune, and being tired or fatigued my body has to work harder on lower levels of energy.

Germs love week bodies! Germs attack and take over the weak and tired body. So here I am, with a box of Kleenex at my side, a water bottle that has been emptied many times today, and several tylenol-cold to help me come through this day. I hope that by having this fierce cold now, on the weekend, I won't have it for very long next week and hopefully become immune to all those germs soon, so that the exposure to the wide variety of bugs won't affect me.
For now, I'll keep sneezing and sniffling, singing songs to the pounding in my head, and being thankful for the fact that I feel like this at home. :)

t-i-r-e-d

I'm just tired..
There must be a better word for tired, and I don't know of any, but that's okay. I'm sure you all know what it is like, to be tired. Tired, because you don't sleep well at night, and are just done. Don't have the energy to do what you should probably have done or do. A jawn interrupts my train of thoughts every so often, and the urge to sleep visits me at the most random times of the day.

Maybe it's the weather; here in Lacombe it has been cloudy, cool, and very rainy during the past couple of days. And not only that, its gray and not summer anymore. I love summer, especially the energy that beams off of the sun. We haven't seen the sun in several days, and that's quite rare here.

Maybe it's starting a new job, and all the things that come hand in hand with that.

Maybe it is being busy, running around all the time.

Maybe it is just me. I do not know what it is, but along with it I haven't really blogged much at all. I'm REALLY trying to change it all, to get a routine, and a good schedule for myself. But before that time comes, who knows when that will be, I don't think you'll find me on here very often...

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint

Isaiah 40:30,31

more change

This month has just started, and already it is a month that will be full of changes. I never really know how to deal with changes. Should I be happy, should I be sad? Should I be disappointed, or excited? Should I be anxious, or enthusiastic?

None of those words really describe how I am feeling now. I'm starting a new job soon, really soon, and it not only makes me feel excited, it also makes me feel scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of meeting and running into me, and not knowing what to do with what I have to face.

Other days I do not feel scared. I feel excited. Ready for this new thing in my life. Ready for my new job, my first job, my first full time position! I feel ready to get started, to teach, to help many people, to share my 'knowledge' with little kids, to give, to love, to be there for who need it. I feel excited to be in a school, for a whole year. Not as a student, but as EA.

Other days I just think of how many things I have learned, not only when I was in college, but also during the times I spent with kids in and outside of school. How will I ever be able to remember all the theories, good strategies, and great tips that can help me.

Today I am not really sure what I am to think of it all. Usually I can kind of describe what I feel, but not today. And that's okay, I believe it will come. Believe that I can do this, not because it's me, but because Christ lives in me and gives me strength!

one more post this month

I had said I would put one more post up this month. Well here it is.

Two families in our church are moving away. Both to Ontario. I do not really know what to think of this. They move because that is what they believe they need to do, not because it is easy for them. They leave many people behind here in Alberta, to find many more people in there new church.

I truly am excited for them. Stand in awe that they take this step. A big leap into the unknown.
I also know that it is hard. Not very long ago, I had to take a big step into the unknown also. But really, when is life not unknown? When in life do we not take big steps?

For me, although I am excited that they are doing, I am sad. Sad because we will be left here. Sad because our church is loosing members, the body is loosing parts. And that hurts. There is a void right now. A place that needs to be filled. That will be filled. Maybe not right away like we think, maybe not with who we think. But it will happen. People will come. The voids will be filled. In His timing. Through Him, the Head of the Church!

1 Corinthians 12:7-24

But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. 8For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; 9To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; 10To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: 11But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will. 12For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. 13For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. 14For the body is not one member, but many. 15If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 16And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 17If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? 18But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 19And if they were all one member, where were the body? 20But now are they many members, yet but one body. 21And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. 22Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: 23And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. 24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked.

when things happen

I feel like I have said the title of this post many times. Many times before things happen that make my view on life change. I have had quite the crazy experience yesterday. A thing that happened, and changed my life.

"for I am the LORD that healeth thee." ~ Exodus 15:26

To make a long story short, yesterday morning, at around 620 am the phone rang. I think it is ridiculous when people call us at this crazy hour, but the caller wanted my mam to work a shift in the homecare that day. The phone had rung about four or five times and it was driving me crazy. I quickly got up and was ready to run and pick up the phone. As my left foot touched the ground it gave way and within a matter of seconds I sat on the ground. I wrapped my arms around my leg, because it felt as if there was no leg. Nothing had supported me when I was ready to get the phone, my legs were not ready to stand up. My sister came to me right away and tried to get me up, but it didn't work. She ran to get my mom, meanwhile I was able to hoist myself back on my bed and put my leg up on my desk. I sat in a weird position, with my leg sideways, and then I saw blood on the floor. O no! What had happened. My mom and sister came running down the stairs, and saw the blood. I think it must have scared them. They then traced the blood back to my foot. There was a cut under my pinky toe on my left leg (the leg that wouldn't support me). We had to get to emerge, and quick. As I was getting dressed, I started to feel hot and cold, my lips tingled and felt freezing. I had a hard time breathing normally, and basically my body was in state of shock. My mom called nine-one-one. Not because of the cut I had under my foot, but because of how my body reacted to it. The ambulance came from Red Deer, because the local ambulance was at another call. It took them about 20min. By that time I was feeling fine, had gotten dressed, read a couple of pages in my book, and talking like crazy.
My stomach growled, my throat felt parched, but the person on the 911phone had told mom that I couldn't drink or eat anything.

"And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." ~ Genesis 2:7

When the paramedics arrived they asked me many questions, looked at my toe, asked if I could get up, walked beside me and led me upstairs, where they checked my pulse (72), blood pressure (109/78), and glucose level (4.4). They said my glucose level was pretty low, but the rest was good. That made us all think further. I can always eat. I drink tons. I do not loose weight. What if it diabetes, what if I have some sort of disease we never knew about? And what happened to my foot, how did it get cut?
When the paramedics left, I was finally allowed to eat (it was 730, and I felt like I was about to fall over again). After I had some breakfast we went to the hospital, where I was helped just about right away (compared to the last time, read 'the hospital', a post from July). The doctor and nurse took the dressing off and looked in the cut. There was nothing to be found. Then they froze my pinky toe. (My toes are wierd, I'll tell you that. I have inherited the trait of toes diving underneath each other, and it can hurt like crazy because they are permanently bend.) The dr, prior to freezing it, pulled my pinky toe straight (OUCH!), then squeezed it hard and stuck a needle in it. I felt it, it hurt, it burnt, and I felt the solution slowly enter my body. I wasn't supposed to feel the second needle. But sadly, I did feel tat. The same thing happened. After 5 minutes my toe was frozen. I have never felt a 'freezing' before, except at the dentist -once and never again!- and I always thought it wouldn't hurt. But boy was it ever painful. Anyway, then the doctor put two stitches in and a nurse cleaned and wrapped my wound.
We were out of the hospital within an hour! :D My mom and I ran some errands, as I limped and hobbled through town and carefully stepped in the truck. It hurt like crazy. Yesterday I had my leg up all day long, today I didn't. It's my own fault that my foot has been throbbing for the last 5 or 6 hours.
Tomorrow my foot is allowed to get wet! :D Yeah, I getta take a shower. And in 9 days my stitches can come out. I will get my blood work done sometime in the near future. Just to make sure there is nothing seriously wrong. However, the doctor in the hospital said that it isn't rare for people to collapse when they get up too fast after sleeping all night, and that my glucose level was perfectly normal for the state I was in (not having eaten for hours because it was just past 6am), and I do not have to worry about diabetes.
We think that when my leg collapsed my foot landed awkwardly, my toes folded backwards (up), and the skin of my pinky toe stretched so much that it ripped. The cut goes from the side of the foot to about the second (ringfinger) toe, about 1.5cm and is about .5 centimeter deep. It sounds pretty disgusting, and it really is pretty disgusting. And yes it is very painful.

However I just think, when things like this happen, it scares me. I do not know what is wrong with me. Maybe I do have something wrong with me that is quite serious but we do not know about. At least the doctor said it cannot be diabetes because my glucose is too high for that. But who knows. When things like this happen, you learn. I learned that I should not get up so quickly. I learned that I need to wake up slowly and get 'me' ready to set both feet on the floor. I learned that I do not have things in control. I learned that even though I was going to the most normal and routinely thing I am not the one who says I will get out of bed that day, or safely arrive at a destination (the phone). I realized, that it is not me who gives me life, gives me breath, gives me health, strength, and all that I stand in need of. I learned that without God I am nothing. I learned that I can only depend on Him, for every single thing in my life!

"For in him we live, and move, and have our being;" ~ Acts 17:28a

cleaning

I haven't been very active on this blog; therefore I have set a new goal. Get more blog posts up this month then I did in the previous month. I have eight days to write three posts. It got me thinking. What to write, what to write? Initially I thought that I would have an easy time coming up with things to write about. My brain is a continual flow of many thoughts, and I can never stop writing in letters. (I have written over 15 page letters before; wouldn't you like to see a post that long.) However, it is impossible to write for me when I do not have inspiration.

"Everybody needs inspiration." ~Miley Cyrus

You may wonder where and when I get my inspiration. It always depends actually. Sometimes when I am driving a thought pops up in my head of what I can write about. Other times I can not sleep and a blog appears completely written out on my eyelids. Imagine that, it's pretty wierd. As I stare at the ceiling, as I drive the endless miles to work, as I wash the dishes, as I mop kitchen floors and scrub out the sinks. Many times I don't even know what inspired me to write. However most of the times it is the hours I spend cleaning bathroom floors and other places in the house that blog topics or random phrases walk into my train of thought and keep me thinking.

Cleaning is one of my hobbies. It has not always been like that. I used to despise it, perhaps because my mom required me to clean the bathrooms years ago. I clean for other people, I clean our own house, and I often have urges to clean when I am in other places. I am as crazy as wanting to hanging picture frames straight when I am in an office somewhere or dust the shelves in a store. I know, it's pretty nuts, it might creep you out, and don't worry about that, because it creeps me out too at times.
Anyway, as I was cleaning today another thought popped up. Why not blog about cleaning?! I mean I do it just about daily, either in my own house or some other place. It is a regular past time activity of mine, and it gives me lots of time to think. To think about life, about decisions, faith, family, holidays, weather, future, food, reading, who knows what I all think about.

Today it was actually about sin and the cleansing that is offered to sinners.

Even though I enjoy cleaning a lot it sometimes frustrates me. I clean for half my living (sound wierd, I have two different kind of jobs, cleaning and teaching. Cleaning is half my income). ANd do get sick of it at times. It is not that the cleaning itself drives me crazy. It is me that drives me crazy. As I am cleaning my brain thinks,

'really, what is the point of this? As soon as someone showers the shower door is splattered and splashed on again. As soon as someone uses a plate it gets dirty again. As soon as someone touches the doorknob I just cleaned and disinfected, it will be infected and unclean again.'

I then need to come to my senses, call myself back to real life. Whenever those thoughts enter my mind I make them go away. I don't like thinking that way. Why not, you may wonder. Well because it makes me negative. It makes me feel useless, and wonder if I am wasting my time cleaning.
How do I make them go away?
I go back to Christ. He gave us a living example. He washed the feet of the disciples. Not only did He wash their feet, He washed them in complete. The Gospel of John writes about this in chapter 13. Peter asked the Lord, 'dost thou wash my feet?' Peter thinks this is crazy! Why would Christ wash our feet, He is the Master. But Christ responds, 'What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter. If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me'(vs 7,8).

Christ washed the feet of His servants, His children because He knew what was to come. He knew that we need the cleansing power of His blood. He knew that without Him we would never live. We would never be part of His Royal family. Without His cleaning we can not live. He not only died on the cross for us to wash away our sins, but He continues to cleans our sins. Each time He forgives our sins we are washed clean. Completely. Washed in the blood of the Lamb. Christ continues to wash our sin away. He never gets sick of it. He never doesn't want to do it. He does it because He loves us!

When I don't feel like cleaning I pray that the Lord will give me the same joy in cleaning that Christ has when He cleaned/cleans my sins away.

Titus 3:4-6 ~

But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;