in all things..

I'm going...

I have, a couple of weeks ago, finally booked a ticket, to...... The Netherlands.
Two months from now I will be flying to Holland where I will spend three weeks with family and friends. I am really looking forward to this time and really would love to count down the days. However, I have decided not to do so, for now anyways. Why?

We still have several weeks of school left. If I were counting down the days until I go to Holland, I would also be counting down the days until I have no more full time job like I do now. Not sure if that makes sense, but since I am working as EA only this school year this will be the only year that I have a full time job for a couple of years. Because there are only 'few' weeks left I have decided to enjoy all these weeks. Not counting down to something that will happen just days after the last day of school. First I shall work until the year is over. Do my best, work with the students and give them what they need. Then when the end of the school year gets much closer, as in weeks, I'll maybe starting counting down the days till my travels east... Not because I'm not excited to go to Holland, but because I need to focus on my work.

Another place I'll be traveling to this summer is Ontario. I will be going there towards the end of the summer holidays (probably late August). I will be staying there for months, not just weeks. Months in which I will continue my education, learn new things, meet new people, go on 'an adventure'. Life changing I'm sure.. 

However, first I am going to be enjoying Spring. Yes Spring entered on the calendar over a month ago, but only recently have we in Alberta started seeing signs of Spring. Snow melted, grass appeared, water flows at rapid speed through the ditches, the sun shines brighter, warmer and the days are getting longer and longer. I'm loving this weather, and can feel the sun is giving me more energy. Or is it the longer days? Or the warmer temperatures? Or everything together? Not sure what it is, but I do know that I'd take this weather over below -10C anyday!

Show me Your ways, O LORD;
Teach me your paths
~Psalm 25:4~


In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths
~Proverbs 3:6~

There are many plans in a man's heart,
Nevertheless the LORD's counsel -- that will stand
~Proverbs 19:21~

don't know

At the moment I just dont know. Where Ive been, where Im going, where I want to go. Ive been making decisions and still am not sure if that is really what I want to do. It has been a tough couple of months, with decision making and all that. But also knowing that in just over 5 months Alberta isnt going to be the place where Ill be living. It is a strange thought, moving away. It is a terrifying thought, moving away. Its an inspiring thought, moving away. And still I dont know. Dont know if this is what I am supposed to do. Dont know if I want to leave my wonderful job and move on. Dont know if I should go further, if I want to go further, if I can go further. A door has been opened, for me to university. And I dont know if I still want to. If I can. If it is possible.

I dont know. I just dont know. And it scares me.

Is it trust Im lacking? Is it confidence Im lacking? I dont know what it is. I wonder what it is and what I can do. I dont know how to say all this. My brain is a big mess. Its a maze of crazy thoughts. Of scaring thoughts. Of thoughts I dont know what to do with. Of thoughts that are there, not knowing how to come out. I dont know how. I dont know what. Dont know when. Dont know why.

"Be still, and know that I am God"

Psalm 46:10

a man in my life

I don't think I look that much like my dad.
But we are quite similar I think. I think I am like
my dad with several characteristics...
It's cool to see how similar we can be, and how
different too. I mean there are many things that I
have from my mom.. The more I think about it, the more
I see my dad in me. It is kind of scary at the same
time. I love my dad though, he's awesome! :D

Just look at the pictures, and you'll know why!

~posing for a picture~

~my parents are a perfect couple,
their supposed to be smiles are always
worth a good laugh!~

~he is at home in every restaurant,
sometimes you just wish you could hide..~

~his giggles are hilarious!~

~oh, that gap in his mouth, he lost a
tooth.. the new tooth doesn't seem to come
up..
(My dad has beautiful gray/blue eyes!)~

~adjusted glasses in order to watch TV while mom
cuts his ears, and he says 'ouch, you always cut my
ear!'~

a door opened

I have received word from Redeemer. Just a little
shorter than a month after I sent in my application
I got a letter of acceptance from them.
Now the door of furthering of my education is open.
Not opened by me, not even with part of my doing, but
I believe opened by God. Because He wants me to go
through that door. To learn more. To get some more
education in. And I believe, to move to Ontario.
The door is not just gonna take me to a post secondary
institution, but to a new province, a new part of
this country, a new chapter in my life. This door is
going to be an opening to new opportunity. New
things.
A door that won't be closed, for now. A door that I
need to step through, starting with paperwork.
In little more than 6 months my life as university
students should start... A life long student in me?
Who knows... First back to the little students,
teaching them and working in a place I love. First
I have to finish this chapter, and I hope the door
won't close on me....

a step taken....

I'm not sure if I have told y'all before, but I have always wanted to be a teacher. Due to marks in High School I wasn't able to do this right after High School. Instead I went to a local community college and got my Educational Assistant certificate in one year. It was exciting to have a certificate 'in my pocket' but not really what I wanted to do all along. Not that I don't enjoy my job, I actually love it. Love the experience, working with children, and learning so many things I do in my job and even the material the students cover is very interesting! I am very thankful for the opportunity I have now to learn about the things that go on in the classroom and behind the scenes. It is also amazing the things you learn just being in a classroom with experienced teachers who are very helpful and very much into helping me!

November I went to Ontario anyway, to take a look at Redeemer University. I had a great long weekend in Ontario, and I had a wonderful experience at Redeemer. I got quite excited, and was sure I was gonna apply before November was over..... But when I got home, I started to doubt, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go, really should, really could, and really still had that motivation I needed to get all my paperwork done.. I thought about it so much, sometimes until very early in the morning. Prayed about it and was restless. I could not come up with a decision my self.. During the early month of December I kind of laid it aside. It went into my the bottom of the pile in my desk and I just left it for a while.

I still was excited. Redeemer made great impressions on me, and I could actually see myself go there. I have visited other universities before, and even when I was in college I never really felt at home.. Redeemer was different.

So during Christmas break I got all my paperwork together, and got some of the writing done that had to come with my application. I held some wonderful help from my grade one teacher who was very kind to proofread my writing and help me form better pieces. This past Wednesday it was finally completed and I sealed the envelop. On Thursday I sent it, and it's off to Ontario...

Now it's out of my hands. There is nothing I can do anymore, but pray. I still sometimes doubt, wonder if I did the right thing, if I should have really applied. It's now not my choice anymore, I have nothing I can do. If I get accepted it's His will, if I do not get accepted it's His will. I don't know what the reply will be from Redeemer. I don't know if I'll apply to other universities.. For now it's just this.. and we'll see what will come from it. I trust that it's in good hands, and pray that I'll be happy with whatever the reply will be.

I hope to keep you updated with whatever news I get....

Check it out, at www.redeemer.ca