I’m frustrated. Really, that
explains my feelings well. I am frustrated with this situation. It has been a
while now since the baker and the cupbearer came here. I served them as this is
my duty here. I served them that one particular morning, as always giving them
their breakfast. They didn’t look too happy that day, both solemn and confused.
I greeted them cheerfully “Good Morning!” but the men remained quiet. This was
unusual for them. So I asked “What is wrong baker, why are you two so upset,
cupbearer?” They looked at me, silently; their gazes shifted, they stared at
the floor. Then I knew there really was something wrong, I sat down in front of
them, and waited.
I am
their server, you see. I, too, am a prisoner in this prison. The cupbearer and
the baker were the king’s servants. I, after serving Potiphar faithfully for
many years, ended up here. Potiphar’s wife has accused me of immoral behaviour.
She then complained to Potiphar and he send me here, to the king’s prison. It
has been a while now, and I am still here. But I believe that God, after all
these years of taking care of me in Potiphar’s house has a plan for me. I
believe that His faithfulness endures forever.
God has given me dreams long ago,
while I still lived in my father’s house; in fact I was just a teenager then. I
dreamed grant dreams and told them to my brothers. I am the second youngest of
a large family, and my dad always treated me differently than the rest. When I
told my brothers of the dreams I had, the dream of the sheaves in the field and
the dream of the sun moon and stars, they became jealous. I ended up being sold
by my brothers to traders. These traders brought me to Egypt, where Potiphar
bought me. Potiphar was the captain of the guard in Pharaoh’s court, and I
lived in his Egyptian home. I was blessed by the Lord and God blessed
Potiphar’s house through me. I was put in charge of just about everything in
the house, and then that dreadful thing happened. Potiphar’s wife asked me to
lie with her, to have sex. I couldn’t believe that she had asked me! I had been
so faithful to her husband, serving the house with great care and putting all
my energy into the work I did. I did this work as unto the Lord, and then
this?!
My name is ruined, I will never
get my spot back in Potiphar’s house, and I have been here for so long. Yes I
have been blessed in this prison and God has done good to me, but it has been
so long since I have seen daylight, since I have walked through grass and
smelled the floors. So long since I actually got to bathe myself and relax,
since I ate a meal without having to think of all the starving prisoners I have
to serve again tomorrow. The Lord has blessed me as the prison guard has
treated me well. He has put me over all the other prisoners, I do whatever needs
to get done here, and the prison guard pays no attention to the work I am in
charge of.
So that day I served the
cupbearer and the baker. The two have worked side by side for many years in
Pharaoh’s courts. They served at ceremonies and feasts together, but also at
the regular mundane meals. All they told me that they were charged of offense
against their lord the king of Egypt. I didn’t know what they were charged for,
and I did not need to know, it really wasn’t any of my business. We built a
good report, those two and I, we got along quite well and I had told them some
things about myself. I had told them of my past, back in my father’s house, my
dreams and how I was sold by my own brothers, my time in Potiphar’s house and
now here. The men seemed to remember that day.
As I sat quietly in front of
them, waiting for them to say something; suddenly the cupbearer and the baker
both looked up. Almost simultaneously they each told me “I had a dream last
night!” They quickly looked at each other and thought ‘you too?!’ The cupbearer
then said “but there is no one to interpret them for us.” I remembered my own
dreams, and how I felt the same – there was no one to interpret my dreams
either, but I replied saying “do not interpretations belong to God? Please tell
them to me.”*
The cupbearer started with his
dream. He told me ‘I saw a vine with three branches in front of me. The vine
was beautiful, strong, and full of life. I watched as it budded, and then
blossomed so beautifully. Colourful flowers and so rich, promising a plentiful
harvest. Soon plenty of grape clusters appeared, round juicy looking grapes,
perfect for the most excellent wines. I had Pharaoh’s cup in my hand and was
excited as I held the cup underneath the grapes and squeezed the juices right into
the cup! The cup filled with intense violet juice! I brought it to Pharaoh
immediately and placed the cup in his hand.’ He paused a moment and then said
‘But that was all, that is where it ended. I am so confused!’
I prayed over this situation,
quietly in my heart and asked God for guidance. When the cupbearer finished
telling us his dream I knew that God gave me the words to speak. I started “The
three branches on the vine are three days. In three days Pharaoh will take you
out of prison and you will serve him in his courts once again, you will get
your old position back. Once again you will be his chief cupbearer. I ask one
thing of you, you to please remember me when you are back in his courts and
tell the people in the courts about me, especially Pharaoh?! Remember my story,
how I was stolen out of my fatherland and am here in prison, innocent. Please
remember me!’
I looked up and saw the
cupbearer’s face had relaxed and he looked me in the eyes with thanksgiving. I
could read his relief all over him. Then I looked at the baker and he was
getting eager to tell his story too. So he said, “Please can I tell my dream
too, and will you interpret it for me?” I replied, “I will do just that.” The
baker started enthusiastically. “I also had a dream. I was walking in the
courts of Pharaoh with three baskets on my head. The baskets were full of fresh
baking, pastries and breads I had just baked that day, and they were heavy. The
very top basked was full of goods for the Pharaoh. As I walked with the heavy
baskets on my head I saw birds coming from all over the place and felt them
pecking out of the top basket. All Pharaoh’s baking was being eaten, I couldn’t
believe it. That’s where my dream ended, that was all. I am so confused.
Please, Joseph, tell me you know what this dream means?”
As the baker finished I had an
ache in my heart. God had revealed this dream to me as well and I was to be the
bearer of bad news, but I could not withhold the interpretation from the baker.
So I looked at the baker with a lump in my throat and sorrow in my eyes and
said “I am so sorry, dear friend. The three baskets in your dream also
represent three days. In three days Pharaoh will lift your head – from you! –
and hang you on a tree. In three days Pharaoh will punish you for your acts and
the birds of the sky will eat the flesh from you.” I could hardly look up at
him and when I finally did I saw him, his elbows on his knees and his hand in
his hands. The baker wept.
On the third day both the baker
and the cupbearer were taken out of the prison by the guards. That third say
was Pharaoh’s birthday and the two friends were released. I reminded the
cupbearer to remember and make mention of me. My two friends left the prison
then and I heard later that the baker was actually killed and the cupbearer
regained his position in the courts of Pharaoh.
These two prisoners stand out to
me, I think because they had a dream like I did. They stand out to me because I
had such a special bond with the two of them. I know the cupbearer is still
alive, I hear enough of what is going on in the courts of Pharaoh from the
prisoners and people I get to interact with. But it has been so long. Almost
two years now since that birthday when the two were taken out of here and saw
the daylight, one for short and one still does now. Almost two years AND I….
Well, I am still here. I sit here and am confused! I am so confused by this
situation; I just do not understand. I truly believe that the Lord has placed
me here but I do not understand why it has to take so long. I don’t understand
why I am still here? Why was I sold to the traders by my brothers anyway? Why
did God allow them to sell me to strangers? Why did my brothers hate me so much
and did my father, Jacob, treat me so differently? How come I was never accepted
for who I was – with my dreams and with my colourful coat? How come I always
end up in bad situations, like the bottom of the well, in Potiphar’s wife’s
lustful hands, and now in this prison? How come I am still HERE?
“Oh God, I do NOT understand who
I am here on earth. I am so confused why I am here. I believe I am your child
but do not understand that you are letting this happen to me? I have been in
this prison for years now, I have been removed from my family for so long, and
I don’t even know if they are still alive. I feel ALONE, forgotten. My family
sold me, Potiphar accused me, and the cupbearer has forgotten me and you, God,
why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from me? I am so frustrated, I cry
day and night and you don’t answer me, I don’t find any rest!**
Lord I realize I have sinned against you over and over and over. Yet Lord,
please show me some favour. I trust in you and pray that you will preserve me,
I will wait for you!*** Lord my soul is cast down with in me, I want to
hope in you!^ I am lost without you and I don’t know where to turn but to you!
But Lord, even though I want to wait for you and take refuge in you I wonder
how long, oh Lord, will you forget me forever? Will you always hide yourself
from me? HOW LONG will I grief, and be alone, and be in pain, how long with
these Egyptians take advantage of me by having me serve in a prison cell? Lord
just listen to me, I am so tired of waiting, so tired of being alone, so tired
of not knowing who I am! Lord answer me!^^ Please! Lord I cry to
you, please hear me, remember me, and show your love to me! PLEASE I plea!”
*Genesis 40:8 **Psalm
22 ***Psalm
25:1,21 ^Psalm
42:11 ^^Psalm 13
Story based on Genesis 40.
