oma.

My oma passed away yesterday. Far from family I try and deal with this. I try and give it a place. To work it all through. Its difficult. Grieving is hard. Death is part of life. The end and a new beginning.

In His joy I may be strengthened. In His provision I may be satisfied. In His love I may be wrapped. In His Light I may see. In His arms I may rest. In His grace I may trust. In His gifts I may be encouraged. In His promises I may be lifted up. In His forgiveness I may be made clean. In His blood I may be washed. In His purity I am made white. In His comfort my tears are wiped away. In His Word I may find hope. In his kindness I may experience love. In His peace I may be at peace. In In His hands I am made whole. In Him I live, I’m made alive. I am convicted of this with a conviction that only God provides, and this gives me courage. To go through each day, as I learn more who He is I learn more of who I am and how I may serve Him. All the days of my life; until He returns, or calls me home. I can only imagine what that will be like, but I know I will live and die though and in Him alone. Forever.
                As I ponder these things I realize that through different situations I may experience God in different ways and be convicted of different things. As my oma just passed away yesterday I am struggling, I feel very alone and confused. The distance between my family and I is now so great. Homesickness sets in big time. It’s difficult to focus. And yet I feel the communion of the saints. People I don’t even know have offered their condolences. People across the globe pray for us and I feel lifted up by these prayers. I feel God’s hand comforting me, and at the same time I feel an emptiness, a void. God fills me up and provides for me and yet I feel so broken. So fragile and confused.

My oma. A woman of God. So blessed to have known her. But how I will miss her. 

She's now with Jesus. There's no place she'd rather be. 

...

Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.Therefore encourage one another with these words.
1 Thes. 4 :17,18

Morning by Morning - CH Spurgeon

"So shall we ever be with the Lord."

1 Thes. 4:17

Even the sweetest visits from Christ, how short they are - and how transitory  One moment our eyes see Him, and we rejoice with unspeakable and full of glory, but again a little time and we do not see Him  for our beloved withdraws Himself from us; like a roe or a young hart He leaps over mountains of division; He is gone to the land of spices, and feeds no more among the lilies.

"If to-day He deigns to bless us
With a sense of pardoned sin,
He to-morrow may distress us,
Make us feel the plague within."

Oh, how sweet the prospect of the time when we shall not behold Him a ta distance, but see Him face to face: when He shall not be as a wayfaring man tarrying but for a night, but shall eternally enfold us in the bosom of His glory. We shall not see Him for a little season, but 

"Millions of years our wondering eyes, 

Shall o'er our Saviour's beauties rove;

And myriad ages we'll adore,
The wonders of His love."

In heaven there shall be no interruptions from care or sin; no weeping shall dim our eyes; no earthly business shall distract our happy thoughts; we shall have nothing to hinder us from gazing for ever on the Sun of Righteousness with unwearied eyes. Oh, if it be so sweet to see Him now and then, how sweet to gaze on that blessed face for aye, and never have a cloud rolling between,a n never have tot run one's eyes away to look on a world of weariness and woe! Blest day, when wilt thou dawn? Rise, O unsetting sun! The joys of sense may leave us as soon as they will, for this shall make glorious amends. If to die is but to enter into uninterrupted communion with Jesus, then death is indeed gain and the black drop is swallowed up in a sea of victory.

Dec. 10. Morning by Morning, C.H. Spurgeon