My life has changed. Things change. Over years, months, and even weeks. I don't always understand why things happen. Actually at the time things happen I never understand what the reasoning behind it is. What God's purpose for me is in those certain events. Sometimes it takes only days, other times months or even years before I see what the Lord was teaching me.
Right now I don't know why things had to go this way with my job as nanny. I don't know why or how, but things didn't turn out the way I thought they would. I am now without job, and it wasn't the way I had hoped my job would end. Even though it is hard at the moment. What have I done wrong? Was all the energy and input I gave for nothing? All I did was my best. All I did was what I thought I had to do. All I did was what I knew how to do.
What I know at this minute (a la minute) is that I find it hard. I feel like I failed, like I am failing in many areas of life. What I know at this minute is that I don't know what to do next.
But the pray, to praise God in all situations of life, to trust Him, and be patient. For all things He puts on our path are for His glory and to teach me something.
I guess this is a new start in my life. A new blank sheet that I can start. There are many things I can and want to get done this summer at home and stuff, but it's not the same as having a job. I will see what will happen, and what new start will come. I will keep you all posted on the job 'front'. We'll see when that happens..
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
emigrating
~ I had to write this for school.. and figured i should share it with you... I wasn't allowed to mention my faith in it, so i didn't.. which was hard, but still it captures a lot of what i felt then, 5 years ago, when i moved to Canada from Holland~
I had never felt so lonely in a place full of people. As long as I remember I had been around people I knew, who loved me, and cared about me. I was happy in the place I lived, and had things planned out for the future, my future. Many of my friends had the same dreams as I did, we all wanted to get out of high school, college and then get rich fast. No parent or teacher could tell us strong-minded teenagers what to do. We know what life was, understood the principles and morals of life, and especially how to be ourselves. That was when I was thirteen, a young and energetic girl with lots of giggly friends and cool ideas. I knew where I was and where I wanted to ‘go’ in the future, as in what I wanted to pursue and accomplish in life. I knew what I wanted. Others had different plans.
My parents were people with great, adventurous, and exciting plans. Or so they thought. To me it seemed that they just did what they wanted, and did not care about others, about me. They seemed to have forgotten about me, my wants, my ‘needs’, and my wishes! That was then. I was thirteen, knew everything, and mostly knew that I did not want to emigrate. But we did anyway, and moved to a lonely country, an ocean to swim across and then miles and miles of land that had to be covered too. An enormous distance that separated me from my loved ones, from my friends, from my life; many kilometers and a day in the airplane which would change my life forever!
It was on November 11, 2004. As I sat in a chair in the huge halls of Chicago airport, my previous excitement vanished. I knew then that I was alone, by myself, and I was to fight through this all. I was the one who had to survive, and had to do it myself. No one could help me with it, and I had the choice of how to do it. I figured the best we to survive was to continually think about my return to the Netherlands, upon my eighteenth birthday, and to never go back to Canada again. I could easily just not connect to people and be isolated from the rest of Canadian society.
Two weeks after our arrival in Alberta I had to face the facts. I had to learn the language, and go to school. Surely I pretended to do my best as I learned English, but wasn’t actually trying that much. I would not need it anyway! It was an easy excuse for me, an option for me not to connect to the strange Canadians and be the true Dutchie as I was.
That is what left me on the lonely side; my ignorance to become more Canadian and learn the language, my stubbornness to connect with people and become part of the culture that exists in this country. I was alone because I didn’t have any friends, didn’t know the language very well at all, and did not make an effort to get any of that. People must have thought that I was very strange and annoying, because I continually asked questions about English and what things meant, but never wanted to do stuff with girls in my class or hang out with people in my church. I was alone and isolated.
No one understood me and no one wanted me. I remember coming home from school and just crying for hours. It happened almost daily. It was a way for me to let out all my emotions, all my frustrations, and inability to communicate. I was alone, alone in my process of becoming used to Canada, to its life style and its people. I was alone in learning the very smallest details of the English language, the concepts of grammar, and the exceptions that came along with all the rules. Alone in finding who I was, what I wanted, and how I would become used to life here. I was alone in so many ways. And yet not alone.
There were students in my class, teacher in my school, ladies in my church, and families in my town, all people who were more than willing and able to help me. They were open to that opportunity of helping others because so many of them had immigrated at a young age themselves. So many had gone through the same things I was going through, and the understood. However, I was unwilling and unable to accept that at that time. I had to learn the hard way that I was not alone, but that it was me who made me alone. It was me who ignored all the signs along the path I took that said, “if you need help, come over here,” and “my house is always open, you’re welcome to come and talk.” It was as if I drove only looking ahead and blinded to the signs and cautions that were put on the side of the road to help me get to the destination. It was as if those signs didn’t exist for me, because I was alone, and no one wanted to help me. It was as if I was alone, because I didn’t want to be together with others, I didn’t want to be accepted and included. If I would have been accepted and included, how would I ever return to the Netherlands? I would have to break up my relationship with Canada like I had done with Holland not too long ago. I would not only have to break up but go through the feelings of a broken heart once again. I just simply could not become involved with and attached to people here. I could not because it would put me in a much more vulnerable spot that I was already in.
I was alone. I was lonely. I was miserable, and unbearable. No one could stand me, my family did not me anymore, and most of all, I didn’t know myself. I did not know who this lonely girl was, because I’d never met her before. I was never alone before, had never experienced not having friends. I had never cried so much and felt so depressed.
And then winter came. It wasn’t just over in a week or two, or maybe a month; instead, it lasted from the end of November until the end of April. It was cold, it was gloomy, it was lonely. No flowers, no birds, no life, no green, no acceptance. I was lonely, and just me, it was my whole entire being; my heart and my soul, that was what was lonely. I was a lonely me, in a place full of people, in a land where everyone is willing to help and to assist, to encourage and listen. My stubborn Dutch nature gave no room for those people to help, because I wanted to coupe with it by my self. I wanted to be alone. Even though it hurt, wasn’t easy, and made me terribly sad.
~I do want to thank everyone who helped me through that time.. all the people who were there for me in the beginning of my life in Canada. Thank them for all their support and encouragement, for their prayers and their love and acceptance. Thank you all for being there for me even though I ignored it, and was too stubborn. Thank you for welcoming me and making me feel at home, here. I also want to thank all those people who came along later on, and also encouraged me, helped, accepted and prayed for me. For all those people who are willing to here and to listen, and to help. I would not have come to this point without you all.. But most of all, I thank the Lord for helping me through the immigration and the time that followed. For giving me strength, energy and courage, and most of all for taking me into Thy family! Now I am not alone any longer, for I am His and He is mine!
I had never felt so lonely in a place full of people. As long as I remember I had been around people I knew, who loved me, and cared about me. I was happy in the place I lived, and had things planned out for the future, my future. Many of my friends had the same dreams as I did, we all wanted to get out of high school, college and then get rich fast. No parent or teacher could tell us strong-minded teenagers what to do. We know what life was, understood the principles and morals of life, and especially how to be ourselves. That was when I was thirteen, a young and energetic girl with lots of giggly friends and cool ideas. I knew where I was and where I wanted to ‘go’ in the future, as in what I wanted to pursue and accomplish in life. I knew what I wanted. Others had different plans.
My parents were people with great, adventurous, and exciting plans. Or so they thought. To me it seemed that they just did what they wanted, and did not care about others, about me. They seemed to have forgotten about me, my wants, my ‘needs’, and my wishes! That was then. I was thirteen, knew everything, and mostly knew that I did not want to emigrate. But we did anyway, and moved to a lonely country, an ocean to swim across and then miles and miles of land that had to be covered too. An enormous distance that separated me from my loved ones, from my friends, from my life; many kilometers and a day in the airplane which would change my life forever!
It was on November 11, 2004. As I sat in a chair in the huge halls of Chicago airport, my previous excitement vanished. I knew then that I was alone, by myself, and I was to fight through this all. I was the one who had to survive, and had to do it myself. No one could help me with it, and I had the choice of how to do it. I figured the best we to survive was to continually think about my return to the Netherlands, upon my eighteenth birthday, and to never go back to Canada again. I could easily just not connect to people and be isolated from the rest of Canadian society.
Two weeks after our arrival in Alberta I had to face the facts. I had to learn the language, and go to school. Surely I pretended to do my best as I learned English, but wasn’t actually trying that much. I would not need it anyway! It was an easy excuse for me, an option for me not to connect to the strange Canadians and be the true Dutchie as I was.
That is what left me on the lonely side; my ignorance to become more Canadian and learn the language, my stubbornness to connect with people and become part of the culture that exists in this country. I was alone because I didn’t have any friends, didn’t know the language very well at all, and did not make an effort to get any of that. People must have thought that I was very strange and annoying, because I continually asked questions about English and what things meant, but never wanted to do stuff with girls in my class or hang out with people in my church. I was alone and isolated.
No one understood me and no one wanted me. I remember coming home from school and just crying for hours. It happened almost daily. It was a way for me to let out all my emotions, all my frustrations, and inability to communicate. I was alone, alone in my process of becoming used to Canada, to its life style and its people. I was alone in learning the very smallest details of the English language, the concepts of grammar, and the exceptions that came along with all the rules. Alone in finding who I was, what I wanted, and how I would become used to life here. I was alone in so many ways. And yet not alone.
There were students in my class, teacher in my school, ladies in my church, and families in my town, all people who were more than willing and able to help me. They were open to that opportunity of helping others because so many of them had immigrated at a young age themselves. So many had gone through the same things I was going through, and the understood. However, I was unwilling and unable to accept that at that time. I had to learn the hard way that I was not alone, but that it was me who made me alone. It was me who ignored all the signs along the path I took that said, “if you need help, come over here,” and “my house is always open, you’re welcome to come and talk.” It was as if I drove only looking ahead and blinded to the signs and cautions that were put on the side of the road to help me get to the destination. It was as if those signs didn’t exist for me, because I was alone, and no one wanted to help me. It was as if I was alone, because I didn’t want to be together with others, I didn’t want to be accepted and included. If I would have been accepted and included, how would I ever return to the Netherlands? I would have to break up my relationship with Canada like I had done with Holland not too long ago. I would not only have to break up but go through the feelings of a broken heart once again. I just simply could not become involved with and attached to people here. I could not because it would put me in a much more vulnerable spot that I was already in.
I was alone. I was lonely. I was miserable, and unbearable. No one could stand me, my family did not me anymore, and most of all, I didn’t know myself. I did not know who this lonely girl was, because I’d never met her before. I was never alone before, had never experienced not having friends. I had never cried so much and felt so depressed.
And then winter came. It wasn’t just over in a week or two, or maybe a month; instead, it lasted from the end of November until the end of April. It was cold, it was gloomy, it was lonely. No flowers, no birds, no life, no green, no acceptance. I was lonely, and just me, it was my whole entire being; my heart and my soul, that was what was lonely. I was a lonely me, in a place full of people, in a land where everyone is willing to help and to assist, to encourage and listen. My stubborn Dutch nature gave no room for those people to help, because I wanted to coupe with it by my self. I wanted to be alone. Even though it hurt, wasn’t easy, and made me terribly sad.
~I do want to thank everyone who helped me through that time.. all the people who were there for me in the beginning of my life in Canada. Thank them for all their support and encouragement, for their prayers and their love and acceptance. Thank you all for being there for me even though I ignored it, and was too stubborn. Thank you for welcoming me and making me feel at home, here. I also want to thank all those people who came along later on, and also encouraged me, helped, accepted and prayed for me. For all those people who are willing to here and to listen, and to help. I would not have come to this point without you all.. But most of all, I thank the Lord for helping me through the immigration and the time that followed. For giving me strength, energy and courage, and most of all for taking me into Thy family! Now I am not alone any longer, for I am His and He is mine!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Matthew 5
Who hasn't read this chapter of the Bible? Everyone knows the be-attitudes right? I don't remember how many times I have gone through Matthew chapter 5, without really noticing verse 13. "Ye are the salt of the earth but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men." The verse right after says that we are the light of the world.
Sure I have heard that many, many times, that I am to shine my light in the darkness of this world, of the city we live in, the community I work in. But to be salt? However can I be salt?
Salt, it's not that great an ingredient is it?
After hearing a sermon on how to be a salt, and a light at the same time - with the be-attitudes 'in the back of my mind' I realized that I am in the 'perfect' position.
I have a job among 'Gentiles'. I kind of dislike using that word, but it is true. To show love, to show kindness, be truthful, faithful and patient in all things. To fight the good fight of faith, to set an example, as Christian.
I said to my sister, who works the same position as I do, we've got quite the salty position at work eh?! She nodded her head, 'yes we do indeed.'
We both have a calling. I can't say what her calling is. But for myself I know that I have to be more salty. Be a salt, because to the Lord that is sweet smelling, because salt has the power to preserve, and because of the permanence of Christ's sacrifice.
I have a calling to be a witness, and to set a pure, good example. Not as one who is with the world because then our testimony means nothing. We are to be a true witness. Wherever we are, whenever we have the opportunity to witness in word and deed. Not for our glory, but for the glory of God!
I pray that I may be a salty salt, with lots of savour. And that we all may be salty, because the Lord asks us to witness, to be a city upon a hill side that cannot be hid.
Sure I have heard that many, many times, that I am to shine my light in the darkness of this world, of the city we live in, the community I work in. But to be salt? However can I be salt?
Salt, it's not that great an ingredient is it?
After hearing a sermon on how to be a salt, and a light at the same time - with the be-attitudes 'in the back of my mind' I realized that I am in the 'perfect' position.
I have a job among 'Gentiles'. I kind of dislike using that word, but it is true. To show love, to show kindness, be truthful, faithful and patient in all things. To fight the good fight of faith, to set an example, as Christian.
I said to my sister, who works the same position as I do, we've got quite the salty position at work eh?! She nodded her head, 'yes we do indeed.'
We both have a calling. I can't say what her calling is. But for myself I know that I have to be more salty. Be a salt, because to the Lord that is sweet smelling, because salt has the power to preserve, and because of the permanence of Christ's sacrifice.
I have a calling to be a witness, and to set a pure, good example. Not as one who is with the world because then our testimony means nothing. We are to be a true witness. Wherever we are, whenever we have the opportunity to witness in word and deed. Not for our glory, but for the glory of God!
I pray that I may be a salty salt, with lots of savour. And that we all may be salty, because the Lord asks us to witness, to be a city upon a hill side that cannot be hid.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
the hospital
This past January I broke my left wrist, and spent many hours in the hospital.
Today, while working out, I twisted my right foot. Again I spent many hours in the same hospital. In the emergency room. As I got there, an ambulance arrived, and another and another. I told the RN it was okay that I'd to wait a bit. You know, those people that came in with the ambulance (3 in total), were probably in a far worse state than I was.
Little did I know when I said that, that would be spending more than 4hours in the emergency unit of the Lacombe hospital. The waiting room was full, for about two hours with the same people. Everyone was bored, hungry (it was supper time), and starting to get just a little bit impatient. So was I.
You know, I always thought I had patience. But first 2 hours in the waiting room. Finally I was allowed to go to an examining room. I sat on the bed. Lied down. Sat up. Read some fast car magazine. You know, read every word on every single machine, sign, poster that was in the room. Looking at the ceiling, counting the tiles.
Well sorry, but how many things can you do while waiting for a smart man to come in who can tell you what is wrong.How many things can you do in an empty examining room, where someone on the other side of the curtain is breathing as if he just ran a marathon, or something like that? How many things can you do to entertain yourself while you're just frustrated with yourself for being clumpsy and always hurting myself! Grr.
I knew where it hurt, knew what I had to do, where I had to press for my foot to hurt more. Knew that I wanted to get help. But eh, the doctors have to eat too, Ill have to wait for that.
Then another RN tells me I can go to the X-ray waiting area. Okay, so I wheel the wheelchair over there (yes I cant really walk well at all),
and drove circles around the waiting area. (I know know what it is like to drive a wheelchair around ;) I know it's quite the experience!) Finally the technician came (she didn't have supper yet either, and it was 8 o'clock. At least we were in the same boat in this matter). Got a bunch of pictures taken of my foot. (For some reason I am never allowed to see the pictures of my own broken body! I can never see how cool an X-ray looks. I remember back when my siblings broke their limps they even got to take their pictures home! Its no fair).
Back to the bed I went.. Wait for another long time, and find that there is nothing wrong with my foot.
Just weak ligaments. Get some physiotherapy if isn't improving too much. Keep the leg elevated,
take it easy for a bit. Oh and you can go home (AFTER FOUR HOURS! YEAH)
I know I shouldn't complain. Shouldn't complain about the four hours I spent in the hospital. Shouldn't complain about the slowness of the doctors. The easygoing pace of the RNs that slowly stroll the halls towards the next patient. I know I shouldn't complain about any of it. (Sorry to all those RNs, Doctors and other nurses, technicians, and all that work in the emergency rooms, I'm not trying to offend you, not mad at you.)
I'm just frustrated. You know, for hours in the Hospital, finding out that nothing is wrong. Talking for a max of 5minutes to a 3rd yr premed student(with the Doctor in the background), an icepack, and 6 pictures I cant even see, and then finding out nothing is wrong.
I'm thankful for that. For the Doctors, nurses, technicians and all those people who want to work in the health system. I am thankful for those men and women that put their life on the line as paramedics, firefighters, and other services. Thankful for the wisdom, the intelligence many of them have! Thankful that I didn't break my foot (I even had decided what colour of cast Id get next!) Thankful for all I do have!
If only the things in an emergency unit could speed up about, umm, 10 to 30 times! Then I'd be really thankful, and pleased with the services in the hospital. Right now it's kind of iffy. Sorry guys.
Today, while working out, I twisted my right foot. Again I spent many hours in the same hospital. In the emergency room. As I got there, an ambulance arrived, and another and another. I told the RN it was okay that I'd to wait a bit. You know, those people that came in with the ambulance (3 in total), were probably in a far worse state than I was.
Little did I know when I said that, that would be spending more than 4hours in the emergency unit of the Lacombe hospital. The waiting room was full, for about two hours with the same people. Everyone was bored, hungry (it was supper time), and starting to get just a little bit impatient. So was I.
You know, I always thought I had patience. But first 2 hours in the waiting room. Finally I was allowed to go to an examining room. I sat on the bed. Lied down. Sat up. Read some fast car magazine. You know, read every word on every single machine, sign, poster that was in the room. Looking at the ceiling, counting the tiles.
Well sorry, but how many things can you do while waiting for a smart man to come in who can tell you what is wrong.How many things can you do in an empty examining room, where someone on the other side of the curtain is breathing as if he just ran a marathon, or something like that? How many things can you do to entertain yourself while you're just frustrated with yourself for being clumpsy and always hurting myself! Grr.I knew where it hurt, knew what I had to do, where I had to press for my foot to hurt more. Knew that I wanted to get help. But eh, the doctors have to eat too, Ill have to wait for that.
Then another RN tells me I can go to the X-ray waiting area. Okay, so I wheel the wheelchair over there (yes I cant really walk well at all),
and drove circles around the waiting area. (I know know what it is like to drive a wheelchair around ;) I know it's quite the experience!) Finally the technician came (she didn't have supper yet either, and it was 8 o'clock. At least we were in the same boat in this matter). Got a bunch of pictures taken of my foot. (For some reason I am never allowed to see the pictures of my own broken body! I can never see how cool an X-ray looks. I remember back when my siblings broke their limps they even got to take their pictures home! Its no fair).Back to the bed I went.. Wait for another long time, and find that there is nothing wrong with my foot.
Just weak ligaments. Get some physiotherapy if isn't improving too much. Keep the leg elevated,
take it easy for a bit. Oh and you can go home (AFTER FOUR HOURS! YEAH)
I know I shouldn't complain. Shouldn't complain about the four hours I spent in the hospital. Shouldn't complain about the slowness of the doctors. The easygoing pace of the RNs that slowly stroll the halls towards the next patient. I know I shouldn't complain about any of it. (Sorry to all those RNs, Doctors and other nurses, technicians, and all that work in the emergency rooms, I'm not trying to offend you, not mad at you.)
I'm just frustrated. You know, for hours in the Hospital, finding out that nothing is wrong. Talking for a max of 5minutes to a 3rd yr premed student(with the Doctor in the background), an icepack, and 6 pictures I cant even see, and then finding out nothing is wrong.
I'm thankful for that. For the Doctors, nurses, technicians and all those people who want to work in the health system. I am thankful for those men and women that put their life on the line as paramedics, firefighters, and other services. Thankful for the wisdom, the intelligence many of them have! Thankful that I didn't break my foot (I even had decided what colour of cast Id get next!) Thankful for all I do have!
If only the things in an emergency unit could speed up about, umm, 10 to 30 times! Then I'd be really thankful, and pleased with the services in the hospital. Right now it's kind of iffy. Sorry guys.
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." ~Romans 12:12
Friday, July 16, 2010
bed time
It's far past ten o'clock and I should actually be in bed. Many of the nights have been later than I would like them to be, and just about every morning I wake up before 7am. I love the part that I wake up early, even without an alarm clock. I never have that in the winter, (that long lasting season) because I can never get out of bed. (For some silly reason there were many times during the winter months that I slept through my alarms!! It's terrible I know.)
I love summer for that, all of it sudden I CAN wake up before the day starts. I can get up when the first number on the alarm clock is still a 6. (yes 6.58 still starts with a six!!) I love it that when I wake up the sun shines, the birds whistle, and I'm just done sleeping. My body says, 'get me out of bed!' So then I just go, I mean, who wants to argue with their body.
But at night, no way! I ain't getting into bed. I'm up and running around until I finally hit the pillow, but will still be awake for a while (sometimes hours, because I tend to read books for longer periods of time). I love that it is still light when it is ten or eleven at night. I love it that I can feel the cool breeze through my open window, and not have to wear mittens when I sit by my desk because otherwise my fingers freeze off (as I do from October until March). I love it that I can run around until the wee hours, even though my eyes tell me that they need to be shut. I love that I can sit up because I just feel like sitting up because I don't want to go to bed! (Who goes to bed when the sun is still up, or when the sky is still blue, anyway?!?!) I love it that when I look out my window the tree is black and the background is light. I love it that when I go to bed, the light does have to go on, just because I want it to be on, not because I wouldn't be able to see if it was out.
I just love summer, except for the fact that for some silly reason I still don't get enough sleep. Now who could tell me why that is?
I love summer for that, all of it sudden I CAN wake up before the day starts. I can get up when the first number on the alarm clock is still a 6. (yes 6.58 still starts with a six!!) I love it that when I wake up the sun shines, the birds whistle, and I'm just done sleeping. My body says, 'get me out of bed!' So then I just go, I mean, who wants to argue with their body.
But at night, no way! I ain't getting into bed. I'm up and running around until I finally hit the pillow, but will still be awake for a while (sometimes hours, because I tend to read books for longer periods of time). I love that it is still light when it is ten or eleven at night. I love it that I can feel the cool breeze through my open window, and not have to wear mittens when I sit by my desk because otherwise my fingers freeze off (as I do from October until March). I love it that I can run around until the wee hours, even though my eyes tell me that they need to be shut. I love that I can sit up because I just feel like sitting up because I don't want to go to bed! (Who goes to bed when the sun is still up, or when the sky is still blue, anyway?!?!) I love it that when I look out my window the tree is black and the background is light. I love it that when I go to bed, the light does have to go on, just because I want it to be on, not because I wouldn't be able to see if it was out.
I just love summer, except for the fact that for some silly reason I still don't get enough sleep. Now who could tell me why that is?
Monday, July 12, 2010
casting
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7
Casting, means to throw or to hurl.. All those cares we are to throw from us,
upon Christ, upon the Living God and Father. He came to love, to safe, because
he cares!
Casting, means to throw or to hurl.. All those cares we are to throw from us,
upon Christ, upon the Living God and Father. He came to love, to safe, because
he cares!
friends
When I moved to Canada, with my family, at age 13, I left many friends, family and other loved ones behind. Being thirteen, a typical teenager, and stubborn, I was very unhappy with the choice my parents made. Especially because my friends were everything. Now, after years, I only have contact with a few of the friends I had when I was in grade eight before we moved.
And yet, those that I do keep in contact with, and have kept in contact with for the six (long) years that I lived here, are very dear to me. Those people, those very special individuals have made my time here in Canada, especially in the first few months, easier to go through. I knew that they still cared for me even though I lived many many miles from them. I knew then, what I know now, that friends are friends forever when the Lord is the Lord of them!
But I even have friends here, that I don't see to often. Or friends that have moved away since I met them. I have had friends that I lost over the years, both here and in Canada. But when those friends call, contact you in some way shape or form, there is a bond that always existed. That bond is then 'restored', reconnected, re-energized.
I never want to loose those friendships. But that is not something I can control. Sure I can do whatever I can, from my side, give it a 150%, but if it is only coming from one side the friendship will sink. However, if both parties, both friends themselves to each other, if they care for each other, and if they are dedicated, devoted I think it does work. I think that whatever friendship you have, if you and the other party are completely there and make an extreme effort to keep the friendship going, it will remain, over many, many years
This song came up as I was writing it. During the first few years in Canada I listened to it often. And even now I still do.
FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS FOREVER - MICHAEL W. SMITH
"Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter of your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show
We'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends(2x)
To live as friends
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
No a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends"
The phrase, 'friends are friends forever, when the Lord is the Lord of them,' often comes to mind. When I'm on the phone with friends or family. When I read their emails and letters, or when I write them. When I'm afraid of loosing them, or other friends that I have now and might move away, will move away.
The Lord has kept friendships I had in the past alive, and they still exist now! I am so blessed with many friends, but when I receive calls from friends far away, I feel a special touch, as if God tells me, 'I'm here for you, and will bless you with friends, no matter when, no matter where.'
I miss you my friends!
:)
nineteen
I believe it has been a tradition for years in our family.
Whenever a birthday comes, we read a Psalm number that matches
the age the person turned. So here it was on Friday, Psalm
19, read for me :)
Psalm 19 (KJV)
Whenever a birthday comes, we read a Psalm number that matches
the age the person turned. So here it was on Friday, Psalm
19, read for me :)
Psalm 19 (KJV)
1The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
2Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.
3There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.
4Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun,
5Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race.
6His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.
7The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
8The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.
9The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
10More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
11Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward.
12Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.
13Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.
14Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Where will we go?
It has been quite the experience, being a nanny. In an non-Christian home.
I guess I have been pretty sheltered, or am just not used to things that go on in the world. Sure, when I went to college I met many girls that didn't believe, many people that just lived for themselves, or believed in a higher power, but had no idea what that even meant.
Now I am a nanny. In a household where there is no faith, there is no dependence on God, there is no trust in the Lord. I find this very trying. It is opening my eyes, and it making me think. It is making me question things that perhaps I shouldn't question, or perhaps I should have questioned many times ago. Questions that the family asks me, that I have never even thought about..
You know, as you turn a year older, you wonder what will happen this new year. What joys will we be able to celebrate? What barriers to face? What roads and paths to walk? What will happen, really today, tomorrow, or years from now? No one knows, except One who is All, in all, and with us always. What if you don't believe there is a God? What if you believe that you are in control? Then where will you go? With questions, fears, and through trials? Then where will you go, when things get 'out of control'?
How sad it is to see, to see the family I work for struggle, and look to mankind for help. They cry out and complain, but to men. What can men do, when God is in control of all things, in heaven and on earth? Where can they go, when men leave them, and they are left alone? What can they do, when men fail to help or haven't helped enough. No where but to themselves.
'I live for myself and for my kids. Why else would I alive, to live for the world-yeah right, I ain't helping people that make my life a pain, that put me in danger, and that don't believe in me. I ain't living to be a good girl, but to have fun in life, bring up my kids so that they have fun and can enjoy there lives.'
How that makes me wonder, cringe, cry. What life, what hope do you have? Where will we go then, when we think that way?
Instead I told her what I believe. That I believe God gave us all a purpose, that He created us for His glory, for His honour and for His will! That He is in control over my life, and that we can depend on him, that we may go to Him when we face trials and temptations, when we struggle, or are unsure about what way to turn. That He is here for us, any time of day, night, and for all of us. That I live for God, and my desire is to glorify Him, that is what makes me happy, that is what I live for, that is what gives me a contentment, that is what gives me peace. He ALONE is the Creator and Sustainer of life. We can not control what will happen to us, to our loved ones, our kids, our family and friends. We can not control what will happen today, tomorrow or next year. But there is one who can, and will, and shall, when we are in need. Even when we face death provide us with everlasting life, if we only believe in Him! (Psalm 68 - Dutch)
I think all people have many questions, about where we will go, after this life. Where we will go, and where we believe in. But not to have the comfort of God, what a sad life one must live. What hope is there then? What comfort, what peace?
Where will we go? Where will I go? Where will you go?
I guess I have been pretty sheltered, or am just not used to things that go on in the world. Sure, when I went to college I met many girls that didn't believe, many people that just lived for themselves, or believed in a higher power, but had no idea what that even meant.
Now I am a nanny. In a household where there is no faith, there is no dependence on God, there is no trust in the Lord. I find this very trying. It is opening my eyes, and it making me think. It is making me question things that perhaps I shouldn't question, or perhaps I should have questioned many times ago. Questions that the family asks me, that I have never even thought about..
You know, as you turn a year older, you wonder what will happen this new year. What joys will we be able to celebrate? What barriers to face? What roads and paths to walk? What will happen, really today, tomorrow, or years from now? No one knows, except One who is All, in all, and with us always. What if you don't believe there is a God? What if you believe that you are in control? Then where will you go? With questions, fears, and through trials? Then where will you go, when things get 'out of control'?
How sad it is to see, to see the family I work for struggle, and look to mankind for help. They cry out and complain, but to men. What can men do, when God is in control of all things, in heaven and on earth? Where can they go, when men leave them, and they are left alone? What can they do, when men fail to help or haven't helped enough. No where but to themselves.
'I live for myself and for my kids. Why else would I alive, to live for the world-yeah right, I ain't helping people that make my life a pain, that put me in danger, and that don't believe in me. I ain't living to be a good girl, but to have fun in life, bring up my kids so that they have fun and can enjoy there lives.'
How that makes me wonder, cringe, cry. What life, what hope do you have? Where will we go then, when we think that way?
Instead I told her what I believe. That I believe God gave us all a purpose, that He created us for His glory, for His honour and for His will! That He is in control over my life, and that we can depend on him, that we may go to Him when we face trials and temptations, when we struggle, or are unsure about what way to turn. That He is here for us, any time of day, night, and for all of us. That I live for God, and my desire is to glorify Him, that is what makes me happy, that is what I live for, that is what gives me a contentment, that is what gives me peace. He ALONE is the Creator and Sustainer of life. We can not control what will happen to us, to our loved ones, our kids, our family and friends. We can not control what will happen today, tomorrow or next year. But there is one who can, and will, and shall, when we are in need. Even when we face death provide us with everlasting life, if we only believe in Him! (Psalm 68 - Dutch)
I think all people have many questions, about where we will go, after this life. Where we will go, and where we believe in. But not to have the comfort of God, what a sad life one must live. What hope is there then? What comfort, what peace?
Where will we go? Where will I go? Where will you go?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Rain on me
You may think why my profile picture is of a person without a head. Well it is true, the picture is of a person, and that person is me. I do have a head, it is just bent backwards.
As me and my sister were taking some pictures on a day with a beautiful sky when it was about to rain, I started feeling drops. Right then and there this verse came to mind:
I find this such a beautiful verse. It is a verse full of blessings and promises, but also one full of commandments and things we ought to do when we claim, believe, and trust that we are Christ's and desire to live a Christ-like life.
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As it started raining I bent over backwards (huh) and felt the rain drops fall on me. The feeling of rain washing over me made me desire the righteousness of God to rain upon me, and His return, one last time! To live forever, with Him, in glory. What more could we want?!
M.
As me and my sister were taking some pictures on a day with a beautiful sky when it was about to rain, I started feeling drops. Right then and there this verse came to mind:
"Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy, break up
your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he
come and rain righteousness upon you." ~Hosea 10:12
I find this such a beautiful verse. It is a verse full of blessings and promises, but also one full of commandments and things we ought to do when we claim, believe, and trust that we are Christ's and desire to live a Christ-like life.
.JPG)
As it started raining I bent over backwards (huh) and felt the rain drops fall on me. The feeling of rain washing over me made me desire the righteousness of God to rain upon me, and His return, one last time! To live forever, with Him, in glory. What more could we want?!
M.
a new blogger
I have been following many blogs for many years. I have also had a blog or two myself for a number of years, but sort of just given up on it. And here I am, today, setting up another blog. To write about my thoughts, my things, my life. So that I can get them off my mind, and share the many thoughts I have racing through my head, daily or as often as I can with you and anyone who is interested really.
This will be a challenge, I think, as I try figure out how things work on Blogspot. But also as I start writing down more and more stuff for the 'public' to read. What will come of it? I seriously have no idea. We will have to wait and see how I do things on this blog, how long I stick around this time, and how many people will visit. (haha)
I hope to write many of my thoughts down on here, whenever I can.
My prayer is that this blog will be a blessing for many, as well as for myself. That through this I can honour and glorify my heavenly Father Who blessed me with the love of writing!
This will be a challenge, I think, as I try figure out how things work on Blogspot. But also as I start writing down more and more stuff for the 'public' to read. What will come of it? I seriously have no idea. We will have to wait and see how I do things on this blog, how long I stick around this time, and how many people will visit. (haha)
I hope to write many of my thoughts down on here, whenever I can.
My prayer is that this blog will be a blessing for many, as well as for myself. That through this I can honour and glorify my heavenly Father Who blessed me with the love of writing!
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall
direct thy paths" ~Proverbs 3:5,6M.
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