ADVENTURE AWAITS

As I finish up this school year and wrap up many things it also includes writing report cards. It's a busy time of year, especially when 2 weeks after school is done I will be moving. Yesterday I spent some time at my friend's house - we were both plowing away at eport cards and we drank her famous high cocoa - reminding us of the days we lived together. Ah, and then she gave it to me in this mug - ADVENTURE AWAITS.

BUT FIRST, get rid of stuff. Stuff. It can be so burdensome to have so many things. Over the last 6 years I have moved many times, twice a year usually. The house I live in now has been 'home' for the last 16 months, the longest home in years. When you move so frequently you just start holding on to less stuff. Still there are those knickknacks, the little gifts from students, mail you receive, things to keep. I think I kind of inherited the 'save it for a rainy day' mentality which is handy when you never move. Not when you always move, not when your life has to fit into 2 suitcases to take along and a couple of totes to put in storage. So purging it is. 

As ENGLISH student in university you can expect to collect books, a lot of books over the years. Even after university I kept collecting books. I love books! I didn't start enjoying reading until fourth grade or so; since then I have not stopped reading (except during the summer after graduating university!). When I moved to this house I had 3 apple boxes full. For about two years I haven't opened most of the books I already owned, so do I keep them? Toss them? Donate them?

If you're interested in a book, I may just have it on a shelf, on a stack, or in a box. Just ask!
My plan: limit my collection one small box.

I don't want a U-HAUL for my stuff. It's gonna be whatever I can manage and haul, after that no more. No U-HAUL with extra storage space in the granny's attic above the cab but I-HAUL with limited storage. And really, why not? I have been following this family on social media - they sold everything they owned and except for 2 suitcases total - and they now travel the world. They are an inspiration because of their minimalism lifestyle. I see that and think "why am I so attached to that piece of ribbon or that book, that t-shirt or that pencil?" I have been trying to apply Peter Walsh's saying "Love what you have. Have what you need. Be happier with less." It is amazing how freeing it is to get rid off things that are in your life, that sometimes go unnoticed, and sometimes are just in the way. Often I share my things with others around me. An item that once was a staple in my closet or cupboard becomes someone else's - for them to enjoy. An itchy tag in a shirt is annoying or always tugging a sweater this way or that, is it really worth keeping? A pair of jeans that has been on the bottom of the stack for months, why does it just sit there?

All this earthly stuff, I don't want to hold on to it. God recommends we "store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.…"  (Matthew 6:19)

This whole DECLUTTER thing is an adventure in itself. A trip down memory lane each time... An item that brings you back to years gone by... A reminder of laughter and tears... An adventure as you decide what stays and what goes, what is important and what isn't...

Ah isn't every day in life an adventure? Just take it as it comes and dive in.
Take opportunities as they come. Go on adventures. Just don't take extra luggage. It weighs you down. 

"Put every hindrance aside and run..." (Hebrews 12:1)

Canada

My first - ever - patriotic photo. May 2017

Canada celebrates its 150th birthday this year. 150 years, that's a long time! Of those 150 years I have been here just over 12.5 years. My family moved to Alberta in November of 2004. Let's just say it was a rocky road when we started out, there in the western prairie province. Kind of like the gravel road we lived on, especially after weeks of rain, with washboards and massive potholes. Ah, looking back I see many people supporting us, patiently showing us what ground beef to buy on our first trip to the grocery store, or gently correcting us when we said learn instead of study, or missed some other technicality in our sentence structure. I know that still happens and it probably always will.
Those first weeks and months were awful. Filled with tears, MSN chats, and snail mail from the homeland.
We missed the bus on purpose, or would call home saying we were sick - just to avoid school. It was awful reading kindergarten level books when we were in middle school, and having to listen to audio stories on cassette at the back of the classroom while the class read The Outsiders...
Then I went to high school, and college, and worked for a year, and then I entered university. Studied English Lit and Psych and graduated after also doing my Bachelor of Education. Now I teach. It's lovely, it's rough, it's challenging and so very motivating.

All those years I thought about it, thought about moving back to the Netherlands. It's not that Canada isn't a good place to live. I love the opportunities Canada has given me, love the language I have learned, cherish the friendships I have, and am so very thankful for my life here. A while ago someone asked me "what did we do wrong, that we can't keep you here? Is it the language we speak, the clothes we wear, the weird things we say, or the people?" Ah, he was only kidding, I think...


Canada - it's nothing you have or haven't offered. People - it's nothing you have or haven't done. Friends - it's nothing you did or didn't do. Family - it's not the choices you have or haven't made. It's just me taking this step in faith, because I can and get to do this at this time.


You may wonder what this step is, if you haven't heard yet via some other form of social media, from me in person, or from someone else. I have been sorting through things, purging, selling, giving away, and donating so many items. Still there is much more to do, to pack , and to get rid of because I just can't store all the little things. I don't want to store half my life here in Ontario (with a fragment of stuff still left at my parents' place in Alberta - that has just been sitting there for some years...). I don't want to store stuff and I can't take very much when I go.
Mid July I will be taking 2 suitcases and a carry-on across the pond. I am going to the Netherlands for a year.


Mainly because I have always wanted to and I can do so relatively easily with my Dutch citizenship. Second, because I am fully bilingual and I am a teacher - so why not use teaching and English in Holland to help others become more bilingual. Or better yet, share what I know so that they can also cross borders, move mountains, and reach other people groups through connecting with them using English...
Third, I am hoping to take some grad courses there, while I can. Why not continue the love of learning a nation that celebrates professional development and offers ample opportunity for young and old to do learn?!
Fourth, I am going to where I am called next, following God's lead in this all.

It will be an adventure. It will be a learning curve. It will be exciting. And yes, it is also slightly terrifying!

So off I go - to the Netherlands...
I will keep you posted

Paths on my Cheeks

Salty tears rolled down my cheeks, and I bowed down, in pain, screaming. I never knew so many drops could come from my eyes. Like a heavy rain storm, a constant flow of salt. It hurt. From the pit of my stomach they came. The bottom of my heart ached. It was all empty. Still the tears kept rolling, biting, falling. Deep, intense pain – intimate pain searing through my soul. I was alone. Alone in this world but surrounded by hundreds of people in the sky. We flew high, in the clouds. Somewhere above land and sea.

‘In the clouds’ sounds dreamy, fantastical and imaginary. Shouldn't it all be well and good up high, in the sky? I had always imagined it to be heavenly up there. Like a beautiful summer day, an embrace of warm rays. But not this time. Not when reality hit, when I realized it was a place so blank and cold. No one cared about my pain, that dagger through my chest - that void existing within. 

I’d never sat for that long in an enclosed space, never sat so unwillingly, never sat shaking like that. My bottom planted in a seat for hours on end. I watched a movie and another. Read this card and that. Tried to let the kind words of friend and family sink in. Their words came in and disappeared into thin air. It didn't register – and to be honest, I didn't care. I didn't want to know their love through simple expressions, experience their embrace through words, or feel the distance through meaningless statements. They would never know nor understand, so why should I pretend they did. They could not really care, not truly feel, not fully comprehend. Their words washed over me. Like a raging flood, an entanglement in the overflow.

How could this be real? How could I have been pulled from all I knew? How could I have been uprooted like that? People I loved dearly told me this was their decision. They said it would help us in the future. That this is where God was leading them. I had no choice – I just had to go along. I couldn't stay behind as minor. Had no say as defiant teenager. I wasn't willing, and yet I had to. There was no other option. When my parents left the only place I’d ever called home, I had to leave with them. Had to gather my bags, my boxes and my bins. I had to pack my life and place it in the large container. I had to leave because they wanted to. There was nothing I could do but go through the motions. Like an awful tornado, driven by the weighty winds. I had to keep moving, going where I was told.

I’d packed all my belongings and they were being shipped across the ocean. I’d said good-byes to my friends, my family, my people and they were staying put in the known. I’d let go off relationships I knew would never be the same, or be at all. There was no hope in me, no desire to keep going, no energy to carry on. All there was in me was bitterness, tears and grief. Grief was what I felt when I sat on that plane for nine long and torturous hours to Chicago. It was what I felt when lost and forsaken in that monstrous American airport. Grief was what I felt when flying the last leg of our life changing trip. It was what I felt when we were treated like criminals and sat on the floor of the immigration office for hours. Grief was what I felt when I was bombarded with questions in a language I didn’t speak. It was what I felt when I saw my luggage and knew I would not be going back. Grief was what I felt when I lay in a strange bed that long and lonely night. It was what I felt the next morning in a strange house with strange furniture and an odd smell. Grief overwhelms. Like a thunderstorm, a darkness engulfing.

My mourning state lasted for weeks. Weeks and months of cold winter and dark depression. Months of loneliness, and homesickness. My tears kept rolling, my heart so broken, my being so torn. I was transplanted, not just to another place in my known environment, but to a completely new and strange residence. Uprooted and placed into a new pot in a new greenhouse. I was transplanted and was told ‘Grow! You’re young! You've life ahead of you! You’ll adjust fast!’ Those words tore my soul, pierced my heart, and aggravated my being. How could anyone say such words to me, a young teenage girl, alone in a new world? How could anyone give me ridiculous advice to learn the language, to get acquainted with my surroundings, and make friends? As if! Seriously. Did anyone know what they were saying – did they really think it was something I could ‘just’ do. It doesn't just happen. I knew it would take work, much effort on my part, a backbreaking labour with much disappointment along the way. They said they understood and did not. They tried to comfort me and wounded me more. They gave advice and had no idea what they were saying. Like hail, ice-cold pellets piercing me. Each day those tears rolled, down the now paved paths on my cheeks forever stained with grief. The tears rolled down and down and burned my skin. The tears rolled fighting to empty my soul from the pain and bitterness that lived within.

The tears continued to flow but changed. The tears changed from mourning to dancing. I was uprooted to be planted in a new place. I had to tear down in order to start building. I had to let go in order to learn how to embrace. I was shown what to keep and what to throw away. I experienced darkness and hate in order to accept love. I fought war against everything and came to experience deep inner peace better than I ever imagined or have understood. I have never understood why my teenage years were so full of tears, so full of toil and snare. But those tears showed who I was and was becoming. It showed not just who I was as I transitioned through different seasons, but He who was and is and always will be.

Salty tears rolled down my cheeks, and I bowed down, in thanksgiving, singing Amen Hallelujah. 





my perspective from years ago. http://manythoughtsoncewritten.blogspot.ca/2010/07/about-me.html

en je paspoort dan?

Ieder uur, iedere stap brengt ons nader
Bij de grens van leven en dood
Heeft de Heiland uw paspoort getekend
Met Zijn bloed dat Hij reddend vergoot?

Nog is het tijd
De Heer heeft genâ
De toegang is vrij door Golgotha
Jezus ging voor
Hij wacht aan de grens
Is uw paspoort getekend,  o mens?

Gij kunt zelf  de tol niet betalen
Zilver en goud verliest daar zijn macht
Slechts het kruis in uw paspoort geeft toegang
Tot het land waar de Heiland u wacht

 Nog is het tijd
De Heer heeft genâ
De toegang is vrij door Golgotha
Jezus ging voor
Hij wacht aan de grens
Is uw paspoort getekend, o mens?

Het is nu het uur der beslissing
Ieder toont dan zijn ware gezicht
O, geloof in de Heiland Uw redder
En Hij voert  U naar ’t eeuwige licht

Slechts het kruis in uw paspoort geeft toegang
Tot het land waar de Heiland u wacht
Tot het land waar de Heiland u wacht

H.J. van der Veen

FORGIVEN.

“I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Put me in remembrance”                                                                              Isaiah 43:25
FORGIVEN. “Don’t steal from the cookie jar!” “Be loving to your friend and give back what is his.” We all have disobeyed. Disobedience and sin is difficult, we know we shouldn’t do it and still we do it, and that which we know we should do, we don’t do (Rom. 7:15). We’re told not to disobey and know that we continually do just that.
            Remember that the laws were given to us out of love. God wants us to flourish and therefore gave rules to live by. At the same time God knows that we stray from His ways and will make mistakes. Our sins burden Him (Isaiah 43:24). God gave Himself through His Son – He then died and with His blood washed away our sin. His life blots out all our transgressions, for His own sake. He takes all our sin away, all our darkness is made light, our filth made clean for Himself. He not only takes those sins away but doesn’t remember them anymore. What He asks of us is to remember Him, and give Him praise for forgiving us.
            You are forgiven, made whole, and washed clean. God doesn’t remember your sin, and asks you to live a life out of gratitude and love for Him, forgiving others as He has forgiven you. Walk in obedience to God; you will flourish.

Prayer: Lord, forgive me for continually straying from You. Thank You for Your Son who died so I can live. Help me to live in Your ways and do Your will in all things. I want to remember You every step of the way. Amen. 

FORMED.

“...My chosen people, the people whom I have formed for myself that they might declare my praise.”                     Isaiah 43:21

FORMED. You have likely played with play-doh before. A mass of sticky stuff from a little jar with which you can make creatures. Play-doh creatures can be re-formed over and over.  You get to be creative and make unique pieces of art, each individually created because you wanted it to be there.                                           God created too. In Genesis we read how God created Adam and Eve out of nothing; He breathed in them and they had life. In Psalm 139 David praises God for forming our entire being, knitting together every part, making us unique creatures, wonderful beings, intricately woven together in secret. He knew who we were to be before there was anything else. God formed us because He wants us to flourish. He wants His people to live for Him and sing praise, honour and glorify His Name and make Him great.
            God has chosen you, and formed you into who you are. He is continually molding and transforming you into the person He wants you to be, because it’s best for you. He provides for all your needs (v. 20) and does new things so you continue to praise Him for the mighty works He has done in you and for what He keeps doing as He makes things new and transforms you. He formed you, uniquely you, praise Him and make Him known.

Prayer: Thank You Father for Your forming and transforming work in me. I praise You for who You have made to be, and declare You as my God. Amen

CHOSEN.

“’You are my witnesses,’ declares the LORD, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He’.”          Isaiah 43:10

CHOSEN. You remember gym class back in elementary school. The teacher would pick two students who then had to choose their teams. Usually the pickers first chose their friends. Then the good athletes, and finally the leftovers, the unwanted. To be chosen first would be exciting and empowering. To be chosen last would be devastating and diminishing. We all want to be wanted, want to be chosen.                   

        Israel was called out of the darkness, but first chosen by God. God chose Israel and from the beginning of time had a special bond – or covenant – with them. With the forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, God had made a promise to bless and keep them. During Moses’ time He said to Israel, “The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth” (Deut. 7:6). God chose Israel to be His. From then on everyone would know Israel and their God.
        God chooses you. Before you came into being, He chose you and decided to create you. He chose you to be His witness and servant, so that you can know and believe in Him and understand that He is Lord. He chose you personally because He wants you to share Him with others.

Prayer: LORD, I believe that You have chosen me. Help me to know and understand You so I can share You with others. Let me be Your servant, God. Amen.