At the moment I just dont know. Where Ive been, where Im going, where I want to go. Ive been making decisions and still am not sure if that is really what I want to do. It has been a tough couple of months, with decision making and all that. But also knowing that in just over 5 months Alberta isnt going to be the place where Ill be living. It is a strange thought, moving away. It is a terrifying thought, moving away. Its an inspiring thought, moving away. And still I dont know. Dont know if this is what I am supposed to do. Dont know if I want to leave my wonderful job and move on. Dont know if I should go further, if I want to go further, if I can go further. A door has been opened, for me to university. And I dont know if I still want to. If I can. If it is possible.
I dont know. I just dont know. And it scares me.
Is it trust Im lacking? Is it confidence Im lacking? I dont know what it is. I wonder what it is and what I can do. I dont know how to say all this. My brain is a big mess. Its a maze of crazy thoughts. Of scaring thoughts. Of thoughts I dont know what to do with. Of thoughts that are there, not knowing how to come out. I dont know how. I dont know what. Dont know when. Dont know why.
"Be still, and know that I am God"
Psalm 46:10
